Pure Intimacy: God's Design for Sex


What's with all the 'God' talk?

No matter where you are on the spectrum of faith, you are welcome here.

by Daniel L. Weiss

From time to time, we receive letters like the one above. It isn’t uncommon for some visitors to recognize that there is something of value in the words they read on this site, but they really don’t want to hear anything about the Christian faith.

I can understand this concern. Even as a Christian, I have been put off by the speech or behavior of others who share my convictions. Truth be told, I am certain there have been times when my own practice of the faith, or lack thereof, has turned others off. For that, I am sorry.

You may have had negative experiences with Christians that have soured you on the faith. Or, possibly, you have had neutral or positive experiences with Christians but embrace a different belief system.

No matter where you are on the spectrum of faith, you are welcome here. This site is devoted to providing the best available resources on sexual addiction, pornography use, and other areas involving sexual brokenness. We want to help all who come to us looking for hope, whether or not we agree on matters of faith.

Having said this, it is important for you to understand that we are not trying to sneak a little Christianity into an otherwise secular resource. Pure Intimacy is openly Christian. This service was founded, and is still funded and maintained, by Christians. In a sense, we are like so many Christian hospitals around the world. Our faith motivates us to reach out to those who are hurting and to do whatever we can to make them whole again. If you wouldn’t refuse treatment at a hospital called St. Luke’s, consider accepting our assistance as well.

There is another reason why this site operates with a Christian worldview. For far too long our culture has worked to devalue, denigrate, and dis-integrate the human person. Many used to decry the separation of sex from procreation, but now people separate sex even from human emotion. The most profound, beautiful, and mysterious connection between two people has been reduced to a transaction or an exercise in fluid mechanics. This is a seriously impoverished view of sexuality and humanity.

The Christian view of sexuality, which informs this site, teaches that the human person is comprised of body, mind, and spirit. Sexual brokenness indicates the dis-integration of these various components. When we separate sex from its emotional and spiritual attachments, problems arise.

Have you wondered what caused you to become addicted to pornography or to cheat on your spouse? Perhaps you can’t understand why you lust so often or even why these questions have never occurred to you. Maybe you think this is just how people are wired.

I don’t know if such an outlook on life is comforting to you, but it isn’t for me. I am not satisfied that this broken world is the sum of human existence. I cannot put my faith in a philosophy that teaches me to get all I can at the expense of others. I simply cannot view people as a means to my ends—especially as objects to be manipulated for my sexual pleasure.

In my experience, when people feel overwhelmed by their own weaknesses and pain or begin wrestling with deeper questions about sex and life, they explore a site like ours—one that endeavors to provide hope for people suffering from addictions, loneliness, intimacy disorders, and sexual problems of all varieties.

If you’ve read this far, I would guess that you are either curious or open to what we have to offer. I would encourage you to read through the resources that interest you. And in doing so, I sincerely hope that you find what you need. Finally, know that we take the comments of our visitors seriously and we welcome your thoughts on this article or any aspect of the site. If we haven’t helped you, please use the feedback form and let us know how we can serve you better in the future.

I wrote this letter specifically so that you would understand our heart and motives, and also so you would feel welcome to retain your doubts and skepticism as you browse the site.

Copyright © 2004 Focus on the Family.  All rights reserved. International copyright secured.

About the author

Daniel L. Weiss is the Media and Sexuality Analyst for Focus on the Family. He also serves as project manager for Pure Intimacy.