Because Cleanliness Is Next to Godliness.
Table of Contents
I have the hardest, most enjoyable job on the planet. For example, how do I start a conversation about anal douching with someone who has no idea what it is? Well, I suppose like this: Anal douching is a real thing with real benefits and drawbacks, and you should probably know about it before you start laughing. After all, that attitude might be why you got made fun of so much back in college, but I digress. All the cool kids are doing it, and it’s time that you joined the club with the rest of squeaky-clean anuses. Your honorary membership card is already in the mail. Expect to receive it in 7 to 10 business days.
Ok, so not as many people douche their anus as I’ve portrayed, but that’s just sad and it doesn’t mean the habit’s not important or necessary. Tons of people understand the crucial nature of obtaining life insurance, but a large portion of the population still lives without it. All I’m saying is that, as a species, we don’t always make the best decisions with our bodies. Anal sex is fun, but only if you have the skills and knowledge to do it right. For instance, neglecting to douche your anus before and/or after sex may very well be your contribution to the downfall of mankind.
Again, I may have embellished the truth a tad, but it’s only in an honest effort to get my point across. A good anal douching can change your perceptions on pleasure, pain and personal hygiene, not to mention revolutionize your sex life and launch you into the Big Leagues of Butt Fucking. Bottom boys and girls from all over the world have been flushing out their anal cavities like a spy flushes out a suspect since the dawn of existence. Only now, the most popular products no longer consist of common household objects and unsafe contraptions. Modern-day anal douches are sophisticated works of kinky art and your education on them starts now.
What Is an Anal Douche?
The modern-day rectal douching device was patented back in 1957 by a pioneering young American named Patricia Bragg. Her invention has since become a top seller in the sex toy industry. Put simply, an anal douche is just a tool used to flush out the rectum using cleansing fluids such as water, vinegar or an anal cleaning solution. Also known as rectal plungers, anal douches come in a wide variety of shapes and sizes and are made from several different kinds of materials. Commonly, anal douching tools are designed to feature a rubber bulb that’s fitted with a body-safe nozzle attachment. That mechanism is what shoots the douche’s fluid into the user’s rectal cavity, thereby providing a thorough clean and/or instigating immediate sexual pleasure.
More intricate anal douching systems are available, and most of them include a hose that gets attached directly to the faucet in your bathroom or kitchen. Frequently used in preparation for anal sex and/or masturbation, douches for the anus are often overlooked at practical supplies for the sexually active person’s bedroom. However, because anal douches typically feature an ergonomic shape and a nozzle that’s suitable for all body types (both male and female), they’re frequently used as a sex toy or as a tool for BDSM.
Why an Anal Douche Though?
The majority of users practice anal douching before and/or after being on the receptive end of anal sex. High-quality douches can be used by anyone regardless of their experience level, sexual orientation or personal hygiene habits. Frequently recommended by healthcare professionals, anal douching devices are a product that should be mandatory in every adult’s bedroom worldwide. Typically made from high-end, hypoallergenic materials that are both durable and waterproof, today’s best anal douches provide five (5) main benefits to the user and his or her partner.
Keep in mind that all people have a different experience with anal douching. Plus, not all devices are made the same. Generally speaking, however, the top 5 benefits of anal douching are as follows:
- You and Your Partner Get to Enjoy Much Cleaner Pre-Game Orifices
By douching your anus before having any type of anal sex (either with a partner or with a sex toy), the orifice and canal are both thoroughly rinsed by the solution in the douche’s bulb. And although most people use simple tap water in their douche, adding common household ingredients such as vinegar and/or skin-safe essential oils isn’t exactly rare. In fact, the more astringent the solution the more clean your bum becomes. So, whether you’re enjoying foreplay before the big game or engaged in some serious action, a good anal douche can help you get prepared for your part.
- Anal Douches Aid in the Removal of Leftover Sex Debris
Anal douches aren’t just good for pre-game cleanliness. Many people use them primarily to clean up leftover ejaculate and/or lubricant after sex. Neglecting to cleanse the anal cavity after it has received a load is an irresponsible habit that could lead to serious health problems. Douching your anus before and/or after anal sex is the best way to prevent the potential bacterial infections that are often caused by negligent lovemaking habits, stagnant sex debris, and other unwelcomed matter trapped in the canal. With a proper anal douching routine you can take it in the rear as much as you like without making anyone feel like second place.
- May Help to Reduce the Transmission of STIs
On top of providing a fresh, welcoming place for your partner and/or sex toy to penetrate, anal douches may also protect your health. According to recent studies, adequate rinsing of the anal cavity after sex might actually help reduce your chances of contracting sexually transmitted infections and diseases such as HIV, hepatitis, gonorrhea, and syphilis. And while using a condom is generally considered your best bet in all scenarios, barebacking it just got a little bit safer with the invention of the handy-dandy anal douche. P.S.: This is not an excuse to be a dirty jerk who constantly has unprotected sex.
- Removes Foul Odors from the Area
It takes a sophisticated and acquired taste to enjoy the pleasurable sensations of anal sex. It also takes a partner who knows how to properly prepare for what’s about to happen. So while anal douches can cleanse debris from the area before or after sex, many people don’t realize that a good douching can also decrease the fecal odor coming from your backside. And as much as we hate to talk about it, deep anal sex often involves flatulence. To avoid that sort of primal embarrassment, just douche your anus before receiving any dick. It’s as simple as that, ladies and gentlemen.
- Provides Direct Hydro-Stimulation to the P-Spot
As if confidently improving the cleanliness of your anus wasn’t enough, anal douches can also be extremely stimulating to the prostate gland if used in the right way. Many douche models come with a detachable or integrated nozzle that’s elegantly curved to reach the sweet spot. And since most devices can be twisted and turned to suit al body types, well-made anal douches sometimes double as hydro-stimulation sex toys. Now that’s the kind of kink we could all use in our lives.
NOTE OF CAUTION: Too much anal douching can cause pain, irritation or damage to the lining of your rectum. This can lead to an infection if you don’t use condoms and/or plenty of lube. Everyone is different and no two experiences are the same. For more help, make an appointment with your doctor to find out whether playing with anal douches is right for you or not.
The Top 5 Ways to Tell If That Anal Douche Is Worth It or Not
Before you can rightfully judge an anal douche just by looking at it, there are a few things you need to learn/know about yourself and your partner. I’ll be honest, anal douching requires quite a bit of skill, and learning the ropes takes lots of patience plus an extremely gentle hand. But prior to traipsing onto the market like you know what you’re doing, answer the following five questions as honestly as humanly possible:
- What Skin Issues Are We Dealing with Here (If Any)?
Checking for allergies and/or skin sensitivities is the best way to ensure nobody experiences any reactions or irritations while using the device. Unfortunately, many people have an allergy that they don’t even know about. For best results, either get a checkup with your doctor or always use hypoallergenic materials such as silicone, thermoplastic elastomer (TPE), polyvinyl chloride (PVC), or some sort of high-grade, latex-free rubber.
- How Often Will I Realistically Use My New Anal Douche?
As much as the manufacturers would like for me to say something different, I’m in the business of being honest: Paying a bunch of money on a luxury anal douche makes no sense if you don’t plan to use it very often. On the other hand, buying a cheap device isn’t wise if you douche your anus all the time. Find a model that’s good enough for your lofty expectations but affordable enough for your lackluster budget.
- Speaking of Budgets, How Much Money Can I Afford to Spend on One of These Things?
The average price of a good anal douching device varies greatly depending on several factors including the manufacturer, the features and the materials. Prepare yourself by making a budget that’s flexible enough to accommodate pleasant surprises and maintenance costs. Remember, proper cleanliness requires taking care of your toys and tools too. Keep room in your stash for toy cleaning solutions, soaps and lubrication.
- What Are the Primary Reasons for This Purchase?
Since some anal douches can be used as both a personal hygiene device and as a sexual pleasure toy, it’s important to figure out what your primary objectives are before setting out on this hunt for the best option. Something that looks amazing might not do what you want, and something that looks overly simplistic might hit the spot. By knowing your main reasons for this purchase, you can navigate the market more efficiently.
- Is This Douche Being Used on Me or My Partner?
Different people have different wants and needs when it comes to cleanliness and pleasure, so assuming that a single anal douche will suffice for both you and your partner is a rookie mistake. Not only that, but swapping users probably isn’t the best idea. Deciding on who gets douched and who does the douching is an essential step that can lead to you finding the best one (or two).
Picking out your first (or next) anal douche is about as complicated as picking out a new car, although the end result is likely to be more enjoyable. There are several things you need to consider before settling on one, and very little information is available to those who don’t dig for it. Furthermore, salesmen are shrewd and you’re up against some pretty convincing advertisements. But if knowledge is power, then you can easily empower your sex life by becoming educated before entering the market. Continue your search with the wisdom and grace of a champion by looking at the following five things before spending any money on an anal douche:
- The Size
Most modern-day sex products are made in a variety of sizes to accommodate different body types. Anal douches are no exception. Granted, there may be several one-size-fits-all options available, and those options may work for a vast majority of individuals, but you still need to make sure that the size of your douche is compatible with your anus. Douches that are too big may be painful, and douches that are too small may not provide a thorough clean or sexual pleasure. As a general rule, your douche’s nozzle should be about the same length as the shaft of your favorite dildo or penis.
- The Shape
Not all anal douches are shaped the exact same way. While they’re all made to do the same basic things, today’s douches are designed more ergonomically than ever before, with shapes ranging from curved to straight and everything in between. Each one has its own unique specialty too, and some are even made specifically to cleanse the anal canal and provide water-based p-spot stimulation simultaneously. Depending on what you want and what you and/or your partner are trying to achieve, the shape of the anal douche you choose will either get you there or not.
- The Materials
Materials matter, especially when it comes to an item you’re going to shove deep inside your body. And although most contemporary anal douches are made from hypoallergenic/skin-safe materials, that’s not always the case. Some unnamed manufacturers still use potential allergy triggers like latex in their products. A few even use proven harmful ingredient such as phthalates and parabens. Since you can’t wear a condom with an anal douche the way you could with an anal dildo or something similar, the materials with which your douche is made can either make or break your experience.
- The Nozzle Design
As mentioned above, the design of the nozzle on any anal douche will determine its primary uses. Typically, curved nozzles are made for p-spot stimulation and/or deep penetration. Straight nozzles can also trigger the prostate gland and penetrate the anus deeply, but curved models seem to offer more sexual pleasure because of the pressure that the angle of the nozzle puts on the sweet spot. Either way, choosing the appropriate nozzle is extremely important because the “end” literally justifies the means here. Look for a nozzle that suits your body type and intentions.
- The Features and Accessories
Higher-end anal douches are more like sex toys than personal hygiene products. With a large selection of models, each one having its own grouping of accessories and/or features, consumers can find something to match any sexual desire they can conjure up. You’ll find douching devices for the anus that come with shower spouts, lengthy hoses and interchangeable nozzles. They may have a water pressure control valve or an attached dildo as well. Seriously, the sky is the limit on today’s sex toy market. Just look for something that coincides with your idea of fun and nobody gets hurt.
The Three Kings: My Favorite Anal Douches
Today’s sex toy market is no joke. The average person can hardly navigate through it without getting lost or becoming frustrated within minutes. Even when searching for something as simple as an anal douche, it seems like every product manufacturer on the planet wants their wick dipped. I can’t stand the chaos, but I also can’t stand being locked into a monopoly. When it comes to shopping for the best anal douche, you sometimes have to take the good with the bad.
With that said, trial and error is often too expensive for most. People want to get in and get out with the optimal product in their hands. I, for one, hate wasting my money on something that turns out to be worthless to me. It’s especially maddening when I think I’ve done my research. You most likely feel the same way, so I’ll give you a head start by offering up these three anal douches because I believe them to be the cream of the crop:
BEST OVERALL: The Clean Stream Deluxe Shower Enema Set
As a particularly well-rounded product, the Clean Stream Deluxe Shower Enema Set provides a deep anal washing through an easy to use design that’s made out of skin-safe stainless-steel. Simply connect the bidet hose to your shower (or any faucet for that matter) and let the games begin. The components can be temporarily or permanently attached to the wall and each experience can be regulated by the conveniently adjustable water pressure valve. And while this creative collection includes its own straight, metal nozzle, you can swap it out with a handful of compatible nozzles for a more customized clean. You also get a 6-foot hose, an additional enema nozzle with a 5-hole tip and 4 rubber washers too.
PRO: With an extra-long bidet hose, plenty of spare parts and a sleek, compact design, the Clean Stream gets my vote as the most user-friendly option available.
CON: The included metal nozzle is extremely rigid and has an insertable length of only 4.5 inches, which is not nearly flexible or long enough for some users.
BEST FOR PLEASURE: The Colt Shower Shot Spraying Water Dildo Douche
If the name of this product isn’t enough to pique your curiosity, then listen to this: The Colt Shower Shot Spraying Water Dildo Douche offers 6 and a half inches of sweet, sweet peter meat covered by a silky-soft rubber material that’s both waterproof and skin-safe. And if you’re still not convinced, consider the fact that this thing also squirts a burst of water into your chosen orifice at an arousing rate. That’s right, it’s a unisex product fit for both anal and vaginal use. The dildo-shaped cleaning attachment features a pronounced head, lots of veins and a series of tiny holes to let the water through, plus the device itself is compatible with almost any shower hose (although it includes it own 46-inch bidet) and it comes supplied with its own rubber washers for a secure fit too.
PRO: This is probably the best way on the planet to douche your vag or ass and get a decent orgasm at the same time.
CON: Proceed with caution because this one contains latex (and I wish it was compatible with a harness but it’s not).
BEST FOR BEGINNERS: The Electric Auto-Spray Enema
This sleek and sexy anal douche is just what the doctor ordered, especially if you’re not yet accustomed to rinsing your rear. Beginner-friendly and professional-worthy, the Electric Auto-Spray Enema offers a large 200ML fluid bulb and a 6-inch insertable shaft that’s almost guaranteed to make more than the device blow its load. The integrated nozzle features a smooth, tapered tip with three strategically spaced holes around the top to allow streams of water through. Offering a deep, satisfying flow, this douche uses a 1.7-inch circumference for a comfortable fit no matter who you are. The whole thing disassembles for easy cleaning too, plus it’s made entirely out of high-grade, skin-safe silicone with no latex, phthalates or parabens.
PRO: It’s a compact, easy to use, all-in-one anal douche with a high-quality feel and a somewhat flexible nozzle.
CON: It can’t be attached to a faucet and can only squirt as much water as the bulb can contain.
The End Game
They say cleanliness is next to Godliness, so the only way you will ever become a sex god or goddess is to start cleaning your anus like it’s a top secret hard drive. Safe, sexy and sophisticated, anal douching is a practice that was once reserved only for the elite. Now, you can enjoy the same refreshing benefits as the kings and queens before you. The opinion of the flock doesn’t matter anymore. What matters now is that the anal douche you choose offers a safe and satisfying experience (hopefully more than once) for you and/or your beloved. If that takes a stainless-steel model with a 6-foot bidet hose and interchangeable jet nozzles with adjustable water pressure valves, then so be it. You’re on your way to heaven anyway.
