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Anal sex toys used to be so embarrassing. Do you have any idea what people had to do to get off? It’s not even worth discussing because it stresses me out. The thought of my ancestors using anything but the very best pleasure products chaps my ass. I can literally feel their pain every time I touch a poorly made toy.
My experience in anal beading is long, strong, good and bad; my first experience being in the 11th grade with a guy named Stephen who had a lazy eye and a limp (but one hell of a dirty mind). His taught me everything I needed to launch into a lifelong search for the perfect sex toy, but don’t tell him I said that. I hear he’s still using old-school models made out of latex, phthalates and loneliness, plus his ass is probably so blown out by now that he couldn’t find a string big enough if his life depended on it.
I guess that just goes to show how important it is to find a good product before you start shoving everything up your tush indiscriminately. I typically don’t mess around with low-quality toys, so most a my reviews are over luxury-grade products. Either way, I’m always excited when a new toy is put in front of my face. So, it was no surprise when my heart skipped a beat as soon as I saw the Fun Factory Flexi Felix sitting on my kitchen table.
What Is the Fun Factory Flexi Felix?
This little number is basically just a fun set of anal beads. The difference is in the overall construction and appearance. Crafted to resemble a limber cat, these beads are designed for maximum pleasure because of their unique shape and size. Made out of flexible, skin-safe materials, the Flexi Felix is also supposed to give you more options in the bedroom during anal stimulation. And in many cases, the toy can be used for vaginal pleasure as well. Considered one of the most versatile and voluptuous sex toys on the market, these high-quality, ergonomic playthings are made to optimize sensations while enhancing your kinkiest creativity.
The Main Features
The Felix helps you Flexi your most perverted sexual muscles by providing you and/or your partner with the elasticity of a world-class gymnast. Many anal bead strings can bend over backwards, but this is one of the only sets to actually stay in place once they’re positioned. That feature, along with the body-conscious size of the beads themselves, helps increase the number of things you can do while also enhancing the amount of pleasure the user receives. Its unique design is only the beginning though. This thing features a curiously kitten-like face as the handle, with its eyes at the holes for your fingers. There’s literally no other sex toy like this on the market, at least not that I’ve found.
The FF from FF (which should be its new nickname) features five equally spaced, perfectly rounded “eggs” which start from the handle and run all the way down to the tip of the string. Its smallest ball measures about 2 1/4 inches while the largest one comes in at around 3 inches total. The entire thing is made out of nonporous, hypoallergenic silicone and its compatible with any water-based or oil-based lube you own – proving once again that the Fun Factory is a serious contender in the sex toy industry. Furthermore, I think the Flexi is proof that the brand hasn’t forgotten about the importance of aesthetics while they were busy promoting free sexual expression.
What Comes in the Box?
First of all, can I just say that this is probably the most whimsical set of anal beads I’ve ever encountered? Not only that, but the packaging is super cute and can double as storage when you’re done. I mean, the manufacturer obviously takes their job seriously but it’s hard to be too uptight about trying new things when you have an adorable, two-eyed little cartoon character cheering you on. And alongside the attractive packaging and unique design are the following objects:
- The Fun Factory Flexi Felix
- A set of care and maintenance instructions
- The manufacturer’s best wishes
Sans warranty or not, you might find that this particular anal sex toy is well-made and packaged just right. What you won’t find, however, are the typical freebies thrown in by most manufacturers. No lube samples, no toy cleaning products, nada. Apparently, this cute and cuddly little monster is supposed to hold its own regardless of the situation. Either way, I do suggest using tons of high-quality water-based lubrication any time you engage in anal play with this thing because it has a teensy bit of natural drag due to the soft silicone material it’s made out of.
My first impression of the Flexi Felix was that it was too cute to do any real damage to my anus. I had no idea how much I would regret thinking that. Upon receiving my package, I eagerly opened it to reveal what was inside without thinking about preparation of any kind. After all, this was a super playful looking sex toy and it’s made by a company called the “Fun Factory.” Give me a break. The toy box was laying there all snug in its packing chips like an innocent baby just waiting to steal my entire night’s sleep. And boy did it ever.
The amount of flexibility on this thing is amazing, but those soft, rounded beads of varying size are the bee’s knees. I took one look at my partner and he immediately ran to the “Naughty Box” we keep inside our bedroom closet. We whipped out our favorite water-based lube, slathered the toy with a heaping helping and then started in on each other like there was no tomorrow. My partner insisted on being the first to go, like always. Out of spite, I shoved that thing so far up his ass his cried bloody murder. The only thing was, his cries were of pleasure because the damn thing flexed inside his anus and punched his p-spot square in the face. It was a TKO, ya’ll.
He laid there in a pool of his own juices like he was making a cum angel on the bed. I tried to nudge him but he never moved. I was convinced I killed him until he asked me for a cigarette. Halfway through it he fell asleep, dropped his smoke, and burned our brand new sheets like a blazing idiot. The cigarette rolled up under his lower back and singed his skin. I couldn’t stop laughing so he got pissed and went out to the couch. I didn’t even care that my turn never came, I was just mad that the Felix didn’t come with homeowner’s insurance. His orgasm about set our house on fire. Talk about a hot night.
Fortunately, he came to his senses about three hours later and crawled into bed with it in his hand. I woke up to the feeling of him slowly tickling my undercarriage with the tip of the toy. As I gently opened my knees to make room for insertion, he gave me a taste of what it felt like to be tortured with pleasure. We ended up shoving it deep then folding it around to the front so we could fuck in the missionary position while Felix’s handle created a new sensation between our bodies. And if I remember correctly, I think one of us ended up falling asleep with it in our ass because our post-orgasm motivation is non-existent already and that thing takes all the extra energy out of your body.
The Ups and Downs
Let’s try to remember what it was like to have zero options when it came to masturbation and sexual exploration, lest we fall back into old habits that died really, really hard. Keep in mind that nothing on today’s market is perfect. In fact, many modern-day things are made with built-in flaws so that the manufacturer can sell more products in the future. (Everlasting gum was a great idea until the money stopped rolling in for reups.) Because of that, even the cum-guzzling Felix had the following ups and downs:
- Extremely flexible string to increased staying power
- Unique handle for improved versatility
- Non-intimidating design ideal for newbies
- Made from hypoallergenic materials
- Fully submersible in water
- Uniform bead size
- May not be rigid enough for some users
Choosing the best set of anal beads can be tough. Believe me, I feel your pain in more way than one. My therapist says I can talk about it soon. Until then, let’s try to remember how much of a cool cat the Fun Factory Flexi Felix is. The unique, playful design, the ergonomic handle, the superb flexibility of the string – only three of the things that make this sex toy a worthy contender among high-end and/or high-tech competition. So while it may not be the largest or the most technologically advanced, this peculiar product seems to have an honorary front row seat among the world’s most user-friendly anal beads and I can certainly see why.