Because Sometimes It’s What You Don’t Say That Makes the Greatest Impact.
Being a professional pervert and sex toy critic makes me one of the most outspoken people you’ll ever (not) meet. It has created in me a personality that compels me to tell it like it is, usually without regard to whose feelings are at stake. It’s been the catalyst of countless restaurant debacles, family feuds and workplace mishaps. I’ve even been kicked out of a Chuck-E-Cheese, but that’s a story for another time. All that being said, I still know how to be quiet when the time is right. After all, I learned a long time ago that well-placed silence can speak volumes.
I’ll be the first to admit that I run my mouth a lot more than I should. In fact, there are situations that would have been so much better if I had just shut my trap. But even when I’m dropping truth bombs and changing the world with my words, it’s still nice to have someone else do the talking for me from time to time. And it’s that sort of shift in the power dynamics that makes BDSM (bondage, dominance, sadism and masochism) so much fun to me and millions of other people all across the map. It’s also the number one reason why I own a surprising number of ball gags and bits.
As someone who regularly dominates my partner with a whole host of sex toys and humiliation tools, picking out the best products weighs heavily on my ability to convince a sub that I’m the one in charge. However, knowing the components of a good ball gag was always something that eluded me…until recently. Having been subjected to a taste of my own medicine by an overzealous sub, I quickly found out why so many of my sexual partners had complained about my fervent use of ball gags. So now, I have a unique two-sided perspective on what goes into a well-made ball gag. And as with everything that involves caring for a submissive partner, selecting the perfect ball gag requires lots of due diligence.
Honestly, I wish they’d change the name of “ball gags” to something a little more innocuous sounding, because a properly fitted one won’t make you gag at all (unless you want it to). And that brings me to my next point: Knowing what you and/or your parner want and need ahead of time is the best way to find what you’re looking for (no matter what it is). So, getting the best ball gag means having a prior understanding of the following 5 things:
- You and/or Your Partner’s Skin Type
You need to realize that no two products on the modern market are the same and that ball gags are no exception. The materials with which it’s made will bode heavily on how you can use it. Make sure neither you nor your partner(s) have any sensitivities or allergies to materials.
- You and/or Your Partner’s Gag Reflex
If you don’t know the gag tolerances involved in this little sexual shindig you’re planning, things could go south in a hurry. Not all ball gag games are made for humiliation and/or pain, meaning some people prefer not to drool or gag when wear one. Do you know how extravagant you can go on your shopping trip or are you just guessing? I don’t suggest the latter.
- You and/or Your Partner’s Mouth Size
Mouth sizes are also important here, especially if you’re working with ball gag beginners. Measure the wearer’s mouth by having them open wide and say “Ah.” As a general rule, the ball on whatever gag you choose should fit snugly in the wearer’s grill without being too tight to remove when the games change.
- You and/or Your Partner’s Head Size
This is an especially important consideration when buying a ball gag harness, but it’s crucial for buying conventional ball gags as well. Most gags feature adjustable straps that fit around the wearer’s head, but considering how those straps adjust is just as vital. Based on the relative size of the heads involved, will you need a belt-like strap, something stretchy, or will simple Velcro do the trick?
- You and/or Your Partner’s Goals
When it comes to BDSM and using ball gags, having a few pre-set goals is always a good idea for everyone involved. In other words, shopping for a ball gag is basically pointless if you don’t consider what everyone wants, mostly because it makes you a selfish asshole but also because there are several elements in play that will determine the pleasure you derive from the device. Play it smart and enjoy the most bang for your buck.
What Is a BDSM/Bondage Ball Gag?
Used to keep your lover’s mouth open during BDSM and other sensual role-playing games, good ball gags are an important part of a healthy sex life and an absolute essential during consensual dominance games. The various sized (and sometimes interchangeable) balls are typically made out of some sort of skin-safe material such as plastic, rubber or silicone. They are attached to an adjustable harness that gets strapped around the back of the wearer’s head, not only keeping the ball gag in place but it also preventing it from slipping back into the throat and becoming lodged.
Of course, true ball gag fans understand the risks associated with using these things, plus they mind the 5 most important safety rules, which are as follows:
- Have a Safety Signal – Since your partner won’t be able to communicate with words, it’s important to have a safety plan ahead of time. This doesn’t have to be complicated either. Something as simple as a quick tap with your hand or foot could signal to your partner that you need to stop, slow down, loosen or remove the ball gag.
- Agree on the Ground Rules Ahead of Time – Everyone needs to be on board with proper procedure before a ball gag is ever placed in anyone’s mouth. Make sure all parties know what they’re getting into, and it probably wouldn’t hurt to try the gag on for size once or twice before getting down to business.
- Never Remove the Straps – I don’t care how uncomfortable things become; never take the straps off under any circumstances. Simply remove the entire ball gag from your partner’s head and move on with your night. Take off the strap can be deadly and trust me, you don’t want to find that out the hard way.
- Wash It After Every Use – Because these balls are going to be lodged inside someone’s mouth, it’s important to keep them clean and free from debris at all times. After each use, thoroughly cleanse your ball gag with warm water and a mild, antibacterial soap before letting it air dry at room temperature. Store it in a safe spot when you’re done to prevent damage and dust build-up.
- Don’t Experiment Until You’re Ready – It may be tempting to start getting creative with your new ball gag because it instills so much passion in you, but it’s crucial to keep your wits about you at all times. Always use a ball gag as directed and never experiment with your limitations until you’re absolutely sure you know what you’re doing. And if experimentation causes you to break any of these 5 safety rules, it’s probably not worth it.
Defining a ball gag is only half the battle. Having a healthy respect for safe and satisfying sex is the other side of the coin. So, why would you even bother dabbling with something that comes with its own 5-point safety checklist? I thought you’d never ask.
Why Use Bondage Ball Gags Though?
There are literally millions of sex toys on the modern-day market, but if you haven’t dabbled in the wonderful world of BDSM you’re truly missing out. One of the most commonly used products in the BDSM arena is the ball gag. And while this relatively innocuous sex toy is designed to do little damage to your body, it’s made to impose massive damage to your partner’s will power.
Like riding a roller coaster, wearing a ball gag provides a safe and secure level of uncertainty that can be harnessed into sexual energy. And also like roller coasters, modern-day ball gags are not like the models of yesteryear. Still used primarily in dominant/submissive play, contemporary gags are crafted with a lot more love, attention and respect from the market and manufacturer. No longer considered taboo, ball gags are making a come back that’s surprisingly loud for a sex toy that’s made to keep you quiet.
Whoever wears the gag loses their ability to speak, making this type of product a vital tool for whole-body restraint and complete control over a sub. It automatically sends a clear signal about who’s in charge and who’s not, all while making an undeniable statement about everyone’s propensity towards the fabulous fetish life. Ball gags allow for a unique brand of power exchange – one that instigates deep-seated passions from both sides of the adjustable and (hopefully) snag-proof strap. And because your mouth also plays a significant role in numerous sex acts, restricting the wearer’s ability to behave on impulse can shift the dynamic and enhance the sensations of pleasure and/or release (when they’re finally permitted, of course).
After a while, the right ball gag can even induce humiliation by making the wearer drool uncontrollably. The powerless position your partner (the sub) is in while wearing a ball gag strongly reinforces the dominance of you as the master. It can also trigger pain arousal, thereby creating a mutually beneficial sex act that’s pleasing to mainstream love-makers and fetishists alike. I’d also like to add that seeing my lover in a snug ball gag is one of the sexiest things I’ve ever laid eyes on. If you’ve never witnessed your lover looking like a whole helpless snack, you’re seriously deprived.
The Top 5 Ways to Tell If That Ball Gag Is Worth It or Not
It’s easy being sleazy, nor is it simple to track down the perfect ball gag without ever having tried it on. The struggle is real, which is why you should look for or consider the following 5 things before you spend any dough:
- The Size
Ball gags come in a wide variety of sizes, including extra-small and extra-large models. The size of each ball will be listed as its “circumference” or “diameter and the dimensions of the strap will be mentioned in centimeters or inches. Because many modern-day ball gags come with an adjustable strap, most people consider them a one-size-fits-all item. However, that’s not always how it goes. To choose the correct size ball gag, consider the measurements of you and/or your partner’s mouth. Adjustable straps aside, will you be able to fit the ball between the lips of the wearer? Keep in mind that a good sized ball gag will be somewhat difficult to put in and/or take out and that the strap is used only to help keep the ball in place.
- The Shape
I say the word “ball” and you immediately picture a rotund object, don’t you? As much sense as that makes, you should know that today’s best ball gags aren’t always round. Good ball gags feature a wide variety of shapes, from luscious lips and hearts to stars and pussies. There are even some gags that have a hole in the middle for your partner to fuck while you wear it – essentially doubling the device as a BDSM tool and a unisex pleasure enhancer. Also, top-notch/ultra-specialized ball gags might even feature hooks and/or loops to help you restrain a sub in kinky, creative ways. Look for a ball gag shape that either matches you/your partner’s body or one that can shift and change as the mood requires.
- The Materials
Considering the fact that all ball gags are designed to go inside someone’s mouth, it’s important to look carefully at the materials with which it was made. Remember, the ball and strap will most likely be made from two separate materials, and many manufacturers only list the ball’s ingredients on the product description. To get the most mileage out of your selection, choose a ball gag that’s made from soft, non-porous skin-safe stuff like silicone, TPE, PVC, glass, metal or a type of polycarbonate or elastomer. And as always, stay away from anything that contains latex, phthalates, parabens and only use lubes that are compatible.
- The Straps
Good straps on a ball gag can be hard to come by. While you don’t want something that’s too rigid to move, you also don’t want something that comes loose every time there’s a little pressure. Balance is key here, but so are things like material and hardware. If your new ball gag has straps that are held together with shoddy clasps or hooks, the entire contraption will be rendered useless (especially if you buy a harness). On the other hand, if you buy a ball gag that’s fastened too securely, you may not be able to get it off easily when needed. Look for polished metal clasps, Velcro or snap-together buttons for best results.
- The Safety
Being able to enjoy any ball gag means understanding how to use them safely, but none of that matter if the device itself is poorly constructed. Loose fittings and bad stitching can be very dangerous, not to mention annoying and ugly. And when it comes to making someone your sexual bitch, it’s important that they know they can trust you. A poorly made ball gag is an unsafe one, and nobody trusts someone who uses unsafe shit. You can’t argue that logic.
The Three Kings: My Favorite Ball Gags
Out of all the ball gags in the entire world (and there’s a lot), the following three are my absolute, hands-down favorites. Now shut up about it, literally:
BEST OVERALL: The Strict Blindfold Harness and Ball Gag Set
The Strict Blindfold Harness and Ball Gag Set is like none other – a sexy and sleek, all-inclusive package that’s easy to use and comfortable to wear during marathon sessions. Perfect for domination and submission games, the sturdy leatherette head harness puts control in the right hands while the soft polyurethane ball keeps the sub quiet and in their place. It features a series of secure, studded straps that are held in place by industrial-grade polished metal clasps. The head strap adjusts to 23 inches, while the chin strap can go up to 7.5 inches and there’s even a hard-shelled blindfold attached. The ball itself measures 1.65 inches in circumference and the entire thing can be easily cleaned with a simple soap and water bath.
Pro: Harnesses are a terrific tool for drool and this one is no exception.
Con: It may not adjust to fit all head sizes and it can’t be used with certain types of personal lubricant.
BEST FOR BEGINNERS: The Tantus Beginner Ball Gag
Just because you’re a ball gag beginner doesn’t mean you can’t appreciate style, sophistication and artistry. The Tantus Beginner Ball Gag is just the ticket for people with dirty minds but discerning tastes. Handmade and hand-poured, each device uses 100% ultra-premium silicone to create a tasteless and odorless sex toy that’s eco-friendly, hypoallergenic, and even dishwasher safe. Functioning as a partial harness, the Tantus features adjustable leather straps with Velcro clasps and a uniquely shaped ball that measures 1.6 inches in diameter and 2 inches in total length. Each gag is made individually too, meaning yours will be nothing like someone else’s. Talk about exclusive.
Pro: Like an adult pacifier, this whimsical looking thing soothes while it “sexifies” almost any BDSM encounter.
Con: It may not be big enough or intimidating enough for some users, especially if you’re looking for pain arousal.
BEST FOR HUMILIATION: The “Service Kit” Humiliator Gag by Scott Paul Designs
Although it’s not necessarily a “ball” gag, the Service Kit Humiliator Gag by SPD is still a finely crafted force to be reckoned with during any and all BDSM activities. Not only is it made from some of the best materials on the market (anodized aluminum, leather and stainless-steel) but it also adjusts to accommodate even the biggest heads among us (up to 21 inches in circumference as a matter of fact). The overall design of this bad boy may be non-locking, but it’s compatible with a long list of humiliating attachments including a serving tray, a toilet brush and a feather duster too. Sleek and stylish, this thing can be worn for extended periods of time and is made by a company that’s known for its high-quality craftsmanship and artistic take on all things BDSM.
Pro: It’s the most versatile and humiliating gag on the market yet.
Con: This one uses a bit instead of a ball, meaning it won’t be ideal for folks who are dead-set on having balls in their mouth.
The End Game
It’s not always easy picking out the perfect ball gag, especially when you’re the one strapping it onto someone else’s head. Team work makes the dream work here, and so does a deep understanding and appreciation for sex toy safety and proper BDSM etiquette. What’s also important is that all the features of your new ball gag play together nicely to provide you and/or your partner(s) with a safe and satisfying sexual experience (hopefully more than once). If that takes a 3-inch silicone gag with an adjustable leather strap and a pussy-shaped ball, then so be it. You don’t have to explain yourself to anybody. And with the right ball gag in your face, you couldn’t if you wanted to anyway.
I’m Tiffany. I’m glad you’re here with me on this crazy journey.
Since this is a sex blog, most of the content relates to the men (and women) in my life. I’ve divided my life over the last five years into little “chapters” to help you catch up on the story and the cast of characters involved.
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