BDSM

The Top 15 Best BDSM Sex Toys & Gear In 2021 + a Buyer’s Guide

BDSM has been around since the dawn of our existence, yet many people don’t even know when they’re doing it. Any time a partner has ever called you naughty, spanked your ass, or tied up your hands, you’ve played with bondage.

Congrats on being a grown up, and a kinky one at that.

If you’re anything like the rest of us, you loved it. You probably started craving more exploratory sex because bondage opens up parts of your psyche that vanilla sex welds shut. BDSM can either make you or break you, depending on what you’re into.

Regardless, you’ll need some kick ass tools to get the job done. Here’s where to start.

The Top 15 Best Bondage Sex Toys/Gear In 2021:

Skepticism around BDSM has lessened in the last few years.

Meanwhile, thoughts and opinions have also relaxed. Now, there are thousands of bondage sex toys available, which means newbies usually have a hard time navigating the market.

So, instead of blindfolding yourself too soon, check out my top 15 picks:

#1. The Liberator Sex Position Wedge Ramp Combo – Best Bondage Gear Overall

BEST FOR BUSY BODIES


You’ve got the ramp, you’ve got the wedge, and now you’ve got the Liberator Sex Position Wedge Ramp Combo. It’s a silky-soft positioning aid that’s shaped and sized to hold up two bodies in motion regardless of their dimensions.

And although it’s extremely lightweight, this sex pillow is packed full of dense foam to ensure adequate support no matter what you’re doing. It also flips and folds to ensure the best possible stance for some seriously sadistic sex (or even something more romantic).

PRO: It’s made out of a durable microfiber material with a machine washable cover.

CON: It may be too large for some people to easily hide.

#2. The Fetish Fantasy Sex Position Master with Restraint Cuffs

BEST FOR G-SPOT TARGETING


Give your partner something to cry about with this g-spot targeting tool for BDSM beginners or pros. It’s the Fetish Fantasy Sex Position Master and it comes with removable, adjustable restraint cuffs for the wrists and ankles.

Use it to raise your partner’s legs to the sky or just achieve the position you’ve always wanted. This strappy sex toy even comes with a free blindfold to make things more interesting, plus it’s made from soft yet durable materials to ensure adequate bondage regardless of all the flailing.

PRO: You can achieve almost any position with this thing.

CON: It may not be suitable for all body types or ranges of motion.

#3. The Lovehoney Position Master Mega Bondage Kit (8 Piece)

BEST FOR KINKY EXPERIMENTATION


This kit comes with everything you need to fulfill fantasies and create brand new ones. It has wrist and ankle restraints for better bondage, a four-way hog tie, a blindfold for sensory deprivation, and even an inflatable sex pillow for easier positioning.

Plus, you get an over-the-door sex swing and a few extra straps too. The only thing missing in the Lovehoney Position Master Mega Bondage Kit is you.

Thus, it’s perfect for beginners and/or pros and can be used alongside other BDSM gear.

PRO: It’s versatile enough for numerous types of sex play.

CON: You have to buy the large storage bag separately.

#4. The ElectraStim EM60-M Flick Electrosex Stimulator Multipack Set

BEST FOR DEEP STIMULATION


For couples who enjoy deep penetrative pleasure, there’s nothing more exciting that an electrostimulation machine like the ElectraStim EM60 Flick Multipack Set.

It has all the goods to help you be bad, including a rechargeable dual channel power unit, a long connecting cable, and plenty of pads to send waves of whimsy to any part of the body you want.

Stimulate the nerve endings to receive more pleasure while you attack them with another sex toy. Or just use the included cock rings and multi-probe to get the party started now.

PRO: You can easily adjust the level of power to suit your desires.

CON: Extra sachets, electro-conductive gel, uni-polar electric pads, and lube are sold separately.

#5. The DOMINIX Deluxe Faux Leather Sex Position Enhancer Chair

BEST FOR CURATED KINK


You’ve probably never seen anything like the DOMINIX Deluxe Faux Leather Sex Position Enhancer Chair, but that’s because it only comes out during the raunchiest sessions. It features a massive hole that measures nine inches in diameter, allowing you to fully explore your partner’s undercarriage at your leisure.

Plus, the bottom is covered in a soft, cushioned pad which lets you lay on your back for easier oral sex. So, it’s all about pain or punishment with this lightweight yet durable seat.

PRO: It comes pre-assembled so you don’t have to worry about that.

CON: There are no wrist or ankle restraints included, nor any O-rings to attach your own.

#6. The Sportsheets Sex Swing Door Jam Kit

BEST FOR TRAVELING TEASES


Who says you have to stay home to get it on? The Sportsheets Sex Swing Door Jam Kit is the perfect accessory for partners on the go, especially ones who enjoy impromptu BDSM play and versatile positioning options.

This kit functions as a swing for upright intimacy, but it easily breaks back down leaving no permanent fixtures. Made out of durable Nylon with cushioning in all the right spots, this thing also offers strong stirrups and straps where you need them the most.

PRO: You can take it anywhere you feel like having exciting sex.

CON: It may not be suitable for all body types or weights.

#7. The Bondage Boutique Deluxe Fetish Sex Swing

BEST FOR ECONOMICAL EROTICA


Just because you’re on a budget doesn’t mean you don’t deserve great sex. The makers of the Bondage Boutique Deluxe Fetish Sex Swing obviously understand that, because this thing performs like a pro.

It has padded support stirrups to enhance comfort during lengthy sessions, and each one is covered in faux velvet material to coordinate with your collection. With industrial strength hardware and fully adjustable straps, the only thing better is the flexible spring that helps you bounce your way into heaven.

PRO: It offers improved stability with a support bar that has removable padding.

CON: It may not be comfortable enough for some users.

#8. The Fifty Shades of Grey ‘The Pinch’ Adjustable Nipple Clamps

BEST FOR DELICIOUS DECORATION


While most nipple clamps feature a basic design that’s more about function than fashion, the Fifty Shades of Grey ‘The Pinch’ Adjustable Nipple Clamps reverse that trend without sacrificing quality, security, or appearance.

In fact, these are some of the most attractive nipple clamps on the market, with tailorable weights that make them perfect for beginners or pros. When worn correctly, they can increase external stimulation, deliver pain, enhance pleasure, or all of the above.

Plus, they’re made out of skin-safe materials so nobody gets hurt.

PRO: They have a silicone covered tip to help prevent damage to the skin during prolonged wear.

CON: It may be difficult to adjust the pressure until you’re used how to this product works.

#9. The DOMINIX Deluxe Large Breathable Ball Gag with Nipple Clamps

BEST FOR EXTREME SPORTS


Put your slave into instant submission with the DOMINIX Deluxe Large Breathable Ball Gag with Nipple Clamps. The conTRAPtion features a medium-sized ball gag with breathing holes so nobody can complain.

Plus, it has attached nipple clamps that dictate the wearer’s range of motion through instantly delivered pain. With metal O-rings to clip on some other toys, this thing offers versatile play options through a multi-sensation experience that’s unlike anything you’ve ever felt.

Also, it’s fully adjustable and made out of silky-smooth, skin-safe silicone too.

PRO: You can take it with you into the bath or shower because it’s fully waterproof.

CON: This device might not be suitable for BDSM beginners.

#10. The DOMINIX Deluxe Leather Collar with Nipple Clamps

BEST FOR INTENSE ROLE PLAYING


There’s just something about wearing a collar that screams submission, and that’s why the DOMINIX Deluxe Leather Collar with Nipple Clamps is just a staple in many BDSM bedrooms. It features a 15-hole buckle fastener to accommodate all neck sizes, plus it’s made out of luxurious leather and steel so you know it will outlast the others.

Meanwhile, the tweezer-style nipple clamps offer sensational stimulation through adjustable pressure levels and silicone covered tips. And the long, shiny chains only add more sex appeal to the equation.

PRO: The soft, padded collar is ideal for long term wear.

CON: You can’t remove the nipple clamps and wear it as just a collar.

#11. The Bondage Boutique Advanced Extra Long Suede Flogger

BEST FOR LUXURY LASHINGS


Whip it good with the Bondage Boutique Advanced Extra Long Suede Flogger – the first BDSM product of its kind. Featuring luxurious materials, incredible stubbed detailing, and dozens of wispy tendrils, this superior product offers 13.5 inches of kinky control.

Wield it like a pro using the extra-durable handle and add this thing to your growing bondage collection before all your filthy fantasies disappear. It doesn’t come with storage, but it does have a convenient loop on the end to hang from your dungeon wall.

PRO: It features a convenient wrist strap to enhance control.

CON: It may not deliver the level of pain some users desire.

#12. The DOMINIX Deluxe Leather Open Cup Body Harness with Cuffs

BEST FOR SEXY SUBMISSION


Cupless, crotchless, and featuring a back-flattering halter cut, the DOMINIX Deluxe Leather Open Cup Body Harness with Cuffs is the perfect accessory for your sexy slave.

It has a unique unisex design for more versatile role playing and several O-rings to attach your favorite bondage playthings with ease. The wrist cuffs mean added control when you need it the most, and the quick-release clips allow for maximum safety even during the roughest of sessions.

Best of all, you can wear it for hours without missing an ounce of pleasure.

PRO: It comes in two sizes (S/M and L/XL) to accommodate more body types.

CON: You can easily see it under tight fitting clothes.

#13. The Rubber Girl Latex Retro High Waisted Mini Skirt

BEST FOR DIRTY DRESS UP


Flatter your figure for your slave or make your sub do a fashion show.

Either way, the Rubber Girl Latex Retro High Waisted Mini Skirt is the way to go. It features an extra-short hemline for maximum leg appeal, with a high-waisted cut to accentuate the curves of any body type.

Meanwhile, the eye-catching sheen of the material coordinates well with most BDSM accessories, including pasties, nipple rings, and collars. And since it’s all vegan-friendly, you don’t have to be cruel to be kind.

PRO: It comes in four (4) different sizes to ensure a proper fit.

CON: It contains latex, so it may not be suitable for all skin types.

#14. The Bondage Boutique Black Bound to Please Under Mattress Restraint

BEST FOR DISCREET DEBAUCHERY


The Bondage Boutique Black ‘Bound to Please’ Under Mattress Restraint is what every BDSM fan needs. Not only is it extremely easy to hide but it’s also simple to use. Just strap it under your bed to transform the room into an instant sex dungeon. It features wrist and ankle cuffs and a connecting strap that’s more than 4 feet long.

The device fits most beds, including a California king, and the Velcro straps make it comfortable and functional without being flimsy or permanent.

PRO: It comes in three (3) distinct colors to coordinate with your existing décor.

CON: Your range of motion will be severely tested while using this product.

#15. The Lovehoney Oh! Satin Blindfold

BEST FOR SIMPLE PLEASURES


This is a must-have for any BDSM sex games that involve sensory deprivation. Draped in silky-smooth satin-like material, this faux fur-lined blindfold is perfect for bondage beginners and experts like.

It has two elasticated bands to ensure a cozy yet secure fit, plus it includes a user’s guide just in case you need some intimate inspiration. And while you don’t get a storage container to keep it safe, you do get a reusable box that doubles as an ideal gift for lovers.

PRO: It comes in three (3) distinct colors to coordinate with your existing collection.

CON: It may not fit unusually large or small heads.

Keep in mind that each of these products most likely comes with a warranty for the manufacturer. It usually lasts for at least a year but timelines can change depending on the maker.

Either way, always register your warranty within 30 days of the purchase date to prevent cancellation. Look at the owner’s manual or the contents inside the box for more detailed information.

The BDSM Sex Toy Buyer’s Guide

If you’re going to try BDSM, you might as well go all out. And if you go all out, you’re going to need a few pointers. Bondage play is not for the faint of heart, and you must make up your mind to participate beforehand.

That’s because there are some major pains and/or pleasures involved.

So, get woke before you get wet.

First, understand what BDSM means (and what it doesn’t). Then, learn why it’s so important to pick out the best and brightest bondage toys on the market.

After that, you can choose your weapon based on a few key criteria that the pros always use. By the time you’re done, you’ll owe yourself an orgasm for all the hard work you’ve put in. Let’s get started.

What is BDSM?

BDSM stands for “bondage, dominance, sadism, and masochism.” But to understand what all of that means, you have to break it down piece by piece.

Bondage is the act of being submissive to someone or something other than yourself. It involves having a master and slave dynamic within the relationship or in the bedroom. As for dominance, it’s just the counterpart of the bondage aspect because this kind of sex is all about symbiosis.

This is where it gets interesting, though. Sadism is the act of deriving pleasure from delivering pain.

Usually, those are the people with whips and chains in their hands, dressed in all leather on those cliché advertisements.

Meanwhile, masochism is the act of deriving pleasure from receiving pain. And there’s that symbiosis thing again. Sadists and masochists generally play well together.

BDSM is not a practice centered on restricting and/or injuring someone for no good reason. It’s not violent per say but is more an intense exploration of the mind and body’s limits.

Thus, it can produce extremely intense physical sensations and even help to rewire the way some people think about sex.

DID YOU KNOW: Nearly 2% of the sexually active population admits to enjoying bondage sex games within the last year.

Why Safe Sex Toys Are Crucial For Bondage

It’s always important to be as safe as possible when having sex with a partner or by yourself. But when you start bringing in the sadistic and masochistic habits of a BDSM advocate, the need for enhanced safety precautions becomes more evident.

That’s because bondage may or may not involve things like slapping, hitting, whipping, electrostimulation, and even forced penetration depending on what you’re doing.

With that said, sex toys with advanced safety features are essential here. You’ll want plenty of extra length on certain products and sturdy pull tabs on others. But to choose the right BDSM gear you must know what’s available and then learn how to sift through the garbage.

And believe me, there’s plenty of garbage in this niche.

How to Choose The Best BDSM Gear

There are at least three ways to choose the best BDSM equipment:

  1. Pick something blindly and then use it for trial and error to determine what you like and dislike.
  2. Ask a friend or lover to recommend something they enjoy using in their own bedrooms.
  3. Select your products based on a set of criteria that seldom ever fails.

If I were you, I’d choose door number three. And while it’s a good idea to ask for suggestions and okay to experiment, this probably isn’t the best time to venture too far outside of your comfort zone. As any legitimate BDSM practitioner will tell you, perfect bondage takes time.

So, here are the top six ways to pick out the best sex toys for BDSM:

Purpose

The most important thing is that you get what you’re looking for, not something that tries to convince you otherwise. Many toy manufacturers will try to appear on the cutting edge of pleasure, but there’s a reason the classics never die.

So, don’t get carried away with specialty items until you’re aware of your parameters. Also, make sure the device can actually do what you want it to do without breaking or injuring someone accidentally.

Dimensions

Everyone knows that size matters. But since much of bondage involves inserting and/or wearing something until you’re released, it’s now an extremely important factor. Dildos, vibrators, cock cages, and even handcuffs need to be sized appropriately for the user.

So, don’t select something too big or too small unless that’s what you want. Take some basic measurements of genitalia and range of motion before buying anything.

Comfort

Many people might assume that discomfort is the name of the game when it comes to bondage, and they’d be somewhat correct in that assessment.

However, BDSM is all about balancing the good with the bad. It’s a punishment and reward system that requires more than just pain and restriction. Besides, who wants to hear a sub complain the entire time over something that could be easily resolved?

Durability

Bondage play is where we got the saying, “I like it rough.” That means your toys will be put through the ringer as well.

So, it only makes sense to buy things that are made from high-end materials like silicone, stainless-steel, borosilicate glass, and nylon. Nobody likes watching as their slaves escape prison, and no master should ever have to explain why their equipment failed.

Style

This might not seem like a big deal to some people, but for those who understand the value of visual stimulation, looks are everything. That’s actually why a lot of bondage gear coordinates in color, fashion, and design.

Looking and feeling good can breed confidence and/or submission depending on how you wield the power. So, choose things that enhance your attractiveness no matter what.

Features

Last but never least are the toy’s features. Will it do what you ask it to do? Better yet, how much experimentation is likely with the device you’re considering? You don’t want to get something that’s too simple but complex products can be difficult to use.

So, choose something that has enough features to keep you guessing without forcing you to play guessing games.

Remember, picking out the perfect bondage toys isn’t always easy, but it’s not really supposed to be. Since this is an extremely personalized kind of sex, you’re allowed to try new thing and fail a few times before you find what you’re looking for.

Hopefully, these six criteria will help point you in the right direction. If not, study the features of a few interesting devices and then compare them side-by-side.

FUN FACT: Many bondage manufacturers make products that are compatible with other toys, even some from different brands.

BDSM risks and rewards

Although bondage, dominance, sadism, and masochism are all relatively freeing, there are still some basic rules that everyone should follow.

Meanwhile, there are also a few important things to avoid at all costs. Understanding the fundamental rules of BDSM is part of the puzzle, so don’t forget about the following 5 things:

#1. You’ll need a safe word.

Safe words are used to communicate tolerance levels and desires during intense bondage play. They can be anything you want or could even be a phrase. The point is to have one established before getting started so that everyone feels safer about pushing the boundaries.

Meanwhile, the most common safe words are colors, shapes, and numbers.

NOTE: “Fifty Shades of Grey” is a terrible representation of what BDSM actually is but the characters use “yellow” as their safe word, so at least they got that right.

#2. You shouldn’t play under the influence.

While getting a buzz may encourage you to get kinkier than usual, it’s probably not a good idea to engage in bondage play when you’re under the influence of alcohol or drugs. That’s because the mind and body can react in unpredictable ways as it is but being jacked up may make things worse.

Plus, you could become desensitized to pain and only discover that after it’s too late.

NOTE: Ten feet tall and bulletproof indeed, the average person’s pain tolerance increases when they consume beer liquor.

#3. Your tools must become your best friends.

There are few things more uncomfortable than playing with awkward tools. Whether you’re the master or slave doesn’t even matter. Expert handling is almost always essential, especially when dealing with such precision stuff.

Take urethral sounding equipment, for example. Imagine fumbling around while insert one of those. Not only could someone get hurt but you’ll also look stupid in the process.

NOTE: Most BDSM submissives say that their favorite thing about being dominated is watching their master control the details.

#4. You’ve got to be prepared for anything.

Part of the fun of BDSM is the unpredictability, most notably for the subs. One minute you could be going in a specific direction and then next minute you’re on a whole new spectrum. Role playing is a big part of this, so always come prepared.

Expect the unexpected and try to own a few toys that are versatile enough for creativity.

NOTE: Watch out for “sub drop,” which involves your partner needing a complete change of pace mid-game.

#5. You need to provide adequate aftercare.

This doesn’t get talked about enough, but that doesn’t mean it’s not important. BDSM aftercare is vital, so you must gather some supplies ahead of time.

Never purchase a bondage sex toy without also buying the appropriate aftercare products. If you need to know which items to provide, just consider the games you’ll be playing tonight.

Staying safe while enjoying bondage play means everyone gets to have some fun. So, don’t overlook the boring stuff.

Meanwhile, grab some hypoallergenic lubricants and a few tubes of sex toy cleaning solution because it’s about to get filthy up in here.

Special considerations about bondage play

Safe sex is crucial no matter what you’re doing. Not only are there diseases and possible injuries to avoid but engaging in unsafe sexual practices can also be illegal.

So, the first rule of bondage is to always get consent.

Talk to your partner with openness and honesty to find out which experiences they crave. Get to know one another’s fantasies and try to choose toys that promote intuitive interactions.

At the same time, remain realistic and have patience with one another as you learn how to do new things.

TIP: Write up a “service contract” for your sub(s) to follow, with clear plans describing how each scenario should play out.

The takeaway

Bondage, dominance, sadism, and masochism (or BDSM) are delightfully dangerous and deliciously desirable. They do take practice and patience though, so don’t jump right into without proper prep and patience.

Remember to have respect for one another, communicate openly, and buy the best BDSM sex toys money can buy. When safety and satisfaction meet, there you’ll find the best orgasms of your life.

BDSM Gear FAQs

Q: How am I supposed to clean my bondage gear properly?

A: Cleaning bondage toys is a lot easier than you think.

However, each product is different so be sure to check the owner’s manual for specific information. In general, you’ll only need to rinse off the item with warm, fresh water before washing it with a non-abrasive, hypoallergenic sex toy cleaner.

Once done, leave the product out to dry or pat it with a soft cloth then return it to storage. As always, make sure the toy’s materials are compatible with the cleaning supplies you choose.

Q: Is there a specific way to store toys like these?

A: Storing your sex toys is easy because it’s all about preference. In general, you’ll need to keep your stuff put away at all times inside a sturdy, waterproof container. Unless the manual says otherwise, try not to expose your toys to extreme hot/cold temperatures or direct sunlight.

However, each product is different so be sure to check the owner’s manual for more specific information.

Q: What happens if I get hurt during BDSM play?

A: If you’re doing everything right and practicing safe sex, nobody should get hurt more than they want to during bondage play.

However, if something should happen, be sure to stop playing immediately and seek medical attention right away. Even if you don’t go to the hospital or doctor’s office, use on-site First Aid gear to heal sores and prevent infections. Also, always provide aftercare to establish and maintain trust, safety, and satisfaction.

Q: What is BDSM aftercare?

A: BDSM aftercare is a procedure that immediately follows bondage play. It consists of resting, relaxing, and treating any injuries sustained during the session. The typical aftercare station includes fresh water to drink, a few snacks, some bandages, ice packs, and skin ointments for starters. The contents of your aftercare package depend on the type of games you play, so customize it for each individual session.

Also, try to designate a specific spot in your home that’s large enough to lounge or lie down.

Q: How do I come up with a good safe word?

A: The ideal safe word is easy to remember and is something that all partners can pronounce. Typically, it’s either a letter, number, color, or familiar household item.

However, your safe words can be whatever you want them to be. Plus, you can designate a special word for each individual action or assign just one for emergencies.

 

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