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Having sex and/or masturbating is one of life’s simple little pleasures, and for a long time it was free. However, that extremely low cost came with an extremely high price, and some people are still paying off the loan to this day. Human beings seem to have always been desperate for a good orgasm, driving many of us to do some pretty crazy shit with our bodies over the centuries. And since the dawn of time, mankind has twerked and twisted his genitals in all manner of ways, with some of our old methods and manias quite embarrassing to admit now that we look back. Hopefully, we can stop having so much to regret, especially before it’s our turn to be written about in the history books.
Some of our ancestors left behind a legacy that’s not so pretty. For example, did you know that in ancient Greece they used stale baguettes and leftover olive oil to jerk off with? As for the women, they used stuff like carved chalk and old cucumbers as dildos. Had we not been innovative with our sexuality, the closest thing we’d have to a couple’s sex toy would be a business lunch. But nevertheless, sex was and is so good that we were once willing to take what we could get – trading food for masturbation, even in the face of famine and pestilence. Hey, at least we have our priorities straight, right?
Sex is universally appreciated because it’s one of the only things in life that’s fully customizable to the person/people doing it. Not only can sex be enjoyed alone, with a partner or within a group, but now you can do things like make love to robust robots, have sex with your favorite porn stars in real time, and enjoy a passionate love affair with a partner no matter where you are in the world. The best couple’s toys always incorporate high technology, thereby making it the norm in today’s sex toy industry. Comfortable, innovative, ergonomic and thoroughly debugged, modern-day sex toys make it easier than ever to achieve a safe and wholesome orgasm each and every time you have sex (especially when you do it with a partner).
In fact, couple’s sex toys are so popular these days that there’s an entire industry focused solely on them, with toys that would blow your mind if you looked at them today, let alone if you laid eyes on them back in the bread-fucking days. Some of my most amazing sexual experiences have involved a toy that was specially designed for couples, often even when I’m all by my lonesome. And perhaps that’s the best part: Couple’s sex toys might be made for two, but there are usually enough features for a pretty satisfying party of one. Get the right devices and you’ll know exactly what I’m talking about. Get the wrong device and I’ll sound like an idiot. It’s all about perspective.
Much like old-fashioned masturbation, this advice is free. However, the cost of ignoring what I’m about to tell you is monumental. I’ll be doing my best to define what a couple’s sex toy is, why it’s so important for a healthy sexual relationship and how to pick out the perfect one. After that, I’ll give you a few recommendations and send you on your merry way. This is definitely a one-sided friendship, but I’m okay with that as long as you are. Let’s begin.
What Is a Couple’s Sex Toy?
A sex toy for couples is just what it sounds like – a device that gets used by both parties in a sexually consensual relationship for the purposes of generating physical pleasure to various parts of the body. Most couple’s sex toys have user-friendly features that either work in tandem or operate in such a way that the other person can sit in the driver’s seat. The best sex toys for couples, however, allow users to have their cake and eat it too. In fact, high-quality, high-tech sex couple’s toys often incorporate things like Bluetooth, virtual reality, SenseMotion, Sync-to-Music and other new technologies designed to establish a better connection between the partners who use them. And yo, the fun part is that today’s sex toys for couples come in such a wide variety of shapes and sizes that it’s almost impossible not to find something that you and/or your partner will like.
To make sure that’s the case (and always is), know the following 5 things about yourself and/or your partner before shopping for a couple’s sex toy:
Your/Their Skin Type – The type of skin you’re in will play a huge role in how much pleasure you get from any couple’s sex toy you play with. They’re not all made the same, and neither are people. So be sure you know about all skin sensitivities and/or allergies before proceeding so nobody gets a rash or reaction.
Your/Their Body Measurements – Couple’s sex toys come in all sorts of shapes and sizes, but so does the human body. Get some numbers before moving forward. Know penis length and girth, orifice circumference and depth as well as body weight and height that way you’ll know what to look for and what to avoid.
Your/Their Equipment – Many of today’s top-notch couple’s sex toys are relatively high-tech and require special equipment such as computers, smart devices, internet servers and/or Bluetooth compatible devices, not to mention specialized personal lubrication, cleaning products and batteries (sometimes). Overall, it’s important to consider your current equipment and figure out if you’re ready to learn some new tricks or if you’re fine staying at the level you’re on.
Your/Their Sexual Appetite – Not everyone has the same sexual desires, meaning there’s no such thing as a one-size-fits-all sex toy for couples. How often do you think you’ll use your new plaything with your lover? Do you and/or your partner get bored easily or are you the kind of people who can hang with a relatively simple device? Can’t decide? Go for one that has a few more features than you need, just so you and/or your lover can grow with it.
Your/Their Budget – It’s also important to know how much you want to spend on a couple’s sex toy when searching for the one that’s right for your relationship. Many of the high-end sex toys for couples are expensive, but the best ones come with a manufacturer’s warranty. So while you may think buying a cheaper toy is the better choice, investing in a well-made device will cost a lot less in the long-run.
Knowing what a couple’s sex toy is (and isn’t) makes this whole thing a lot easier. If you have a firm grasp on the definition and you’ve defined you and/or your partner’s sexual perimeters, you should be able to enjoy all that your upcoming device has to offer. And what’s that, you ask? Let’s find out.
Why a Couple’s Sex Toy Though?
Owning a couple’s sex toy is a right and a privilege but it’s also a responsibility. Those who are lucky enough to call themselves owners must be appreciative of the innovations and imagination that went into each device. After all, men and women used to be so limited to the things they could do to one another. Thanks to couple’s sex toys, relationships are improving in every nook and cranny of the world, plus the industry’s best toy manufacturers have started jumping on the bandwagon, creating an updated market that’s now full of exciting options for lusty lovers.
As you’d expect from a resume like that, couple’s sex toys are now the top-selling pleasure device on the modern-day market. Sold by the truckload, there’s not a single demographic that hasn’t been inspired by these marvelous machines in one way or another. Made for men, women and every gender in between, contemporary couple’s toys are nothing like the desperately pathetic, run-of-the-mill devices we endured yesteryear. No longer considered taboo by any culture or sub-culture worth mentioning, today’s sex toys for couple’s are more sleek, modern, sexy and convenient than ever before.
There are least five reasons why you’re a fool for not having purchased a couple’s sex toy yet. Okay, so I’m kidding and you’re not a fool, but you’re most certainly behind the times if you’re not at least looking for one. To make that pill a little easier to swallow, I gingerly present the following five things that should make it pretty obvious why your sex toy collection is lacking if it doesn’t have a couples-friendly device:
- It Nourishes the Sexual Bond
Couples-friendly sex toys are one of the most important tools that you and/or your partner could ever use, mostly because it makes you feel instantly closer to your lover on a mental and emotional level, even when penetration hasn’t even take place yet. By forcing you both to openly communicate your sexual desires in order to properly experience all the toy has to offer, creating and fulfilling satisfying fantasies is now a whole lot easier no matter who you’ve got in the bedroom.
- It Helps Establish an Emotional Attachment
Sharing an orgasm with someone naturally creates a physical attachment (literally), but did you know that it also creates and promotes an emotional bond as well? Couple’s sex toys help support those physical and emotional bonds by giving partners a buffer between their perversion, clumsiness and the inability to properly express themselves through words. Where love poems and sappy songs fail, sex toys for couples always win.
- It Supports Partners in Long-Distance Relationships
Today, millions of people are engaged in a long-distance relationship. On top of that, the modern world has people traveling all over the place for jobs and recreation. At times like those, wouldn’t it be nice to have a well-made couple’s sex toy to keep the fire burning until you get home or have the opportunity to meet in person? The sex toy industry apparently saw a need and quickly filled it. I, for one, couldn’t be happier about that.
- It Actively Engages Those with Mobility Problems
One of the most amazing and culturally beneficial things about couple’s sex toys is the fact that they are, for the most part, easy to use regardless of the person’s physical abilities. Today’s toys for couples are equipped with some of the highest technologies known to Man, meaning they’re intuitive and innovative in all the right ways. Some even feature options that can operate or adjust without any physical or vocal input.
- It Promotes Safe Sexual Exploration
Sex toys for couples act as a safe and effective way to find or explore you and/or your partner’s sexual boundaries. Whether involved in a long-distance relationship or happily engaged in an in-person affair with someone who has limited mobility, modern-say sex toys for couples promote experimentation and exploration better than devices made solely for individual use. In fact, many people choose couple’s toys solely for the exciting features, with no plans whatsoever to use their toy with a partner.
Put simply, couple’s toys are selling like hotcakes because they’re so much fun to use (not to mention sexy looking most of the time). They provide swift and satisfying orgasms while allowing the users to enjoy being creative and imaginative about their sexual encounters. Their a staple in bedrooms across the world and they’ll probably always have a spot in our collective bedside drawers. But to understand what all the fuss is about, you have to be given a few pointers along the way. Trial and error works for most things, but I don’t suggest using it for this.
The Top 5 Ways to Tell If That Couple’s Sex Toy Is Worth It or Not
Finding the best couple’s toy for online dating, long-distance relationships and just plain ole sexual bonding isn’t as hard as you think it is. To get you started on the right foot, here are the top five things to look at or consider when shopping for your first (or next) sex toy for couples:
- The Size
Obviously, the size of whatever couple’s sex toy(s) you choose will affect how much use and pleasure you get out of it. Modern-day sex toys for couples come in a wide variety of sizes, built to accommodate all body types while being appropriate enough for the mainstream. The industry’s ability to pull off that delicate dance is staggering. Many of the toys in this category are adjustable if not fully customizable, so look for something like that or make sure you know you and your partner’s body measurements ahead of time.
- The Materials
This one is especially important if you and/or your lover have skin sensitivities, allergies or a specific type of lube you like to use. Keep in mind that not all couple’s sex toys are made the same, even some that are sold by the same brand. Look for materials that agree with your skin types and lube stash for best results. Most of the time, that’s going to involve silicone sex toys paired with a good water-based personal lubricant. However, the combinations thereof can change based on user and preference. The point is find a package deal that keeps everyone safe and sexy.
- The Features
Exploring the various features on any given couple’s sex toy is an adventure, but after a while it gets old and boring. So, look for things like wireless remote controls, rechargeable batteries, skin-safe materials, ergonomic shaping and user-friendly settings interfaces. And since you’re looking for couple’s sex toys specifically, it probably wouldn’t hurt to seek devices that use Bluetooth, virtual reality, smart device apps and downloadable content just so everyone involved gets the most bang for their buck.
- The Compatibility
All couple’s sex toys on the market today have complimentary features. They either come as a two-part sex toy pair or as a single device that does multiple things. The duos should be compatible with one another regardless of which features you’re playing with. Plus, you should be able to tailor the experience to you and/or your lover’s ideals. Toys that don’t have those options are basically sex toys for individuals and that’s not what you’re looking for.
- The Brand
Although brand affiliation isn’t always an important factor when it comes to picking out a good sex toy, couple’s devices are a little different. Because many of them use a two-toy system to actively engage each partner during sex, it’s often necessary to buy toys from one brand only. However, certain higher-end models can be used with toys from other brand’s inventories. For example, the Kiiroo Onyx 2 and Kiiroo Pearl 2 are made to work together, but they can also be used with the Fleshlight Launch.
The Three Kings: My Best Couple’s Sex Toys In 2019:
Out of all the couple’s sex toys on this wide and wonderful market of ours, the following three are the absolute bangers in my humble opinion:
#1 – The Kiiroo Onyx 2 and Pearl 2 Duo
As hands-down my favorite sex toy on the market today, this dynamic duo is the cream of the couple’s toy crop for several reasons. First of all, each toy can be used by itself as an individual massager/masturbator. Once synced up, however, the two toys dance and mingle in a way that rivals authentic sex and puts long-distance relationships on the map. Leading the pack is the new and improved Kiiroo Onyx 2 male masturbator, with a surprisingly powerful motor that provides a heavy-handed yet smooth thrust with every pulse, adaptable to your tastes using the ergonomically designed speed controls on the side of the device. The compatible Kiiroo Pearl 2, just like its predecessor, is the female version of the Onyx – also extremely powerful, with superior user-friendliness and silky-smooth texture that tickles the g-spot. Both can be used as a team or with identical devices for some hot and heavy homosexual fun.
Pro: Both devices are Bluetooth ready and compatible with virtual reality glasses like Occulus Rift, not to mention with the Fleshlight Launch device that turns the Onyx into a fully-loaded automatic masturbation machine.
Con: Both devices are rather loud when turned on full blast, but the Onyx 2 is especially boisterous.
#2 – The WEVibe Sync
The WeVibe Sync is a set of sexy toys for a couple’s delight, with innovative and versatile components that make it ideal for beginners, perfect for pros and suitable for travel. As the world’s best-selling pleasure product for couples, this app-controlled adjustable fit sex toy comes in two colors (purple or aqua) and has a ton of features to explore. With SyncMotion Technology and a wireless remote that has a full three-meter range, the Sync can be easily manipulated to fit you and/or your lover’s unique body type. Made from medical-grade silicone with customizable vibration modes that change the game instantly for real-time control, this bad boy can also sync to music and features a low power alert for your convenience. It’s waterproof too, plus it comes with a 2-year manufacturer’s warranty.
Pro: This product comes with a detachable cock ring as a boner, I mean bonus.
Con: The texture of the male toy isn’t as complex as I’d hoped it would be, but it still gets the job done if you use the other features right.
#3 – The Lovense Max and Nora
BEST FOR NEW COUPLES
This combo uses an app-controlled interface that helps partners experience pleasure for themselves or with a partner at the touch of a button. Made by a trusted brand, the Lovense Max and Nora combo tell an old-school love story featuring updated technology – ergonomic air vents for suction control, Bluetooth compatibility, an external remote, and access to extravagantly entertaining porn content. The Lovense, a customizable blowjob machine, obviously geared towards men, works in conjunction with the Nora, a compatible clitoral and g-spot stimulator designed specifically for women. When paired properly, these two lovebirds create a customizable motion in the ocean that’s guaranteed to rock your boats. Fully rechargeable and travel-friendly, these dueling dynamos make perfect sense for all breeds, creeds, and needs.
Pro: The soft silicone used here is one of the softest and most supple materials on today’s sex toy market.
Con: They’re like a less expensive and less amazing version of the Onyx 2 and Pearl 2 by Kiiroo, but they can suffice as a good substitute in a pinch.
The End Game
It’s not difficult to get your hands on the perfect couple’s sex toy, it’s just that you have to know what one is and figure out ways to differentiate the good from the bad. Fortunately, there is no right answer nor is there a one-size-fits-all option. However, as long as all the features play together to give you and/or your partner a safe and satisfying sexual experience, that’s all that matters. If it takes a multi-function couple’s sex toy made out of industrial-strength materials with intuitive pleasure settings, a wireless remote control, travel-friendly power locks and virtual reality capabilities, then so be it. You’ve got a vision so you’ve got to start pulling out all the stops. Team work makes the dream work, folks.