Having sex and/or masturbating without proper amounts of lube can be disastrous. In fact, inadequately wet genitals are the cause of numerous health and wellness problems, including skin irritations, allergic reactions, toy quality depletion and decreased sexual satisfaction. Personal lubrication has become so important to the average sexually active person’s lifestyle that the product is now sold in an extremely wide variety of types, scents, colors and flavors. Of course, my favorites are the ones that give extra sensations like warming, cooling or tingling. However, nothing tops my list like a good, old-fashioned flavored lube. After all, a well-rounded love life is supposed to be tasty, right?
If you’re anything like me, then you’ve probably encountered at least one sex partner whose genitals tasted like salty, sweaty sadness. And while savory flavors are welcomed in my home under the right circumstances, I certainly don’t like to gobble down mouthfuls of nasty crotch juice. On the other hand, flavored lubricants are also awesome when you and your partner are all spruced up. These highly personal products, when used as directed, can add a lot of intrigue, excitement and confidence into a relationship, especially one that involves frequent oral sex. That’s why I keep several varieties of lube in my bedside drawer, and that’s also why I’m constantly on the market for something better.
Having said that, I recently got ahold of some System Jo brand lubricant and I had enough of a unique experience to write this review about it. The flavor was called Gelato Salted Caramel and it initially got my attention because of the gourmet-like taste combination contained in a single bottle. The price wasn’t too bad either, and the packaging was attractive as well (yeah, I’m shallow). I asked my partner to pick some up on his way home from work one evening and we gave the formula a test drive of our own. So, was it worth the extra trip to the other side of town or did we immediately regret our decision? Well, let’s make sure you know what I’m talking about first.
What Is the System JO Gelato Salted Caramel Lube?
Table of Contents
The System JO brand is known for its wide variety of beauty and wellness products, but their shining stars are always in the sexual health category. Their Salted Caramel Gelato flavored lube is one of them, with a taste that has been created to intrigue the tongue and excite the senses. It’s a water-based personal lubricant that can be used by both males and females for anything from vaginal penetration to anal intercourse and everything in between. The product is packaged in a small pump-style bottle with an adorable label and a powerful scent that can be smelled without ever opening the lid. Overall, it’s a high-quality lube with a fan base about as long as its lifespan.
The Main Features
As mentioned, this Salted Caramel Gelato lube from System JO is water-based, meaning its main ingredient is good ole H20 (and also that it’s compatible with almost every sex toy and skin type on the planet). The bottle contains 4 fluid ounces of silky-smooth flavor designed to enhance foreplay and comfort during sex and/or masturbation. The proprietary pH-balanced formula uses zero sugars but it does contain glycerin, FYI. However, that glycerin is sourced from organic plants so it’s a lot less reactive to allergies and sensitive skin. Also, System JO’s calorie-free Gelato doesn’t have any parabens or propylene glycol in it either, which means the glide is much gentler and the product seldom becomes sticky or tacky when it begins to dry.
What Comes in the Box?
When shopping for lubricant, you really can’t expect to get many items in the box along with the product you paid for. It’s not because the manufacturers are rip-off artists either. Truth be told, some of them even offer free incentives, money-saving memberships, rebates and special discounts to loyal customers. However, you seldom get anything besides the bottle of lube in question. Well, the System JO brand is no exception, and their Gelato Salted Caramel lube is presented as a stand-alone product. The box probably won’t double as a storage container and the manufacturer doesn’t put coupons, discount codes or even an instructive leaflet inside of it. You will, however, get a folded ingredients and warnings sheet if you reach all the way down to the bottom, so at least there’s that.
I didn’t bother purchasing my bottle of System Jo Gelato lube from a local store. Instead, I bought it online alongside a bunch of sex toys and other accessories. Then, m partner and I waited patiently for the shipment to arrive at the house. When it did, I immediately took out the Salted Caramel and began doing what I do best and that’s examining the most important factors in an honest and objective way. Here are the four criteria I used to formulate my opinion about this product:
- The Packaging – I enjoyed the look of the bottle and its label – cute and obviously marketed more towards women than men. There wasn’t a lot of information on the wrapper, but at least there was a list of the ingredients. However, I found fault in the overall skinniness of the container itself (wrapped or not). It was difficult for me to hold onto, especially once I got some of the lube on my hands. Maybe it would have been better for the lube to be kept in a more ergonomic bottle – one with grip grooves, curves or ridges perhaps.
- The Pump – The pump was another problem I had with the execution of this product. It’s relatively tiny and not a lot of the lube comes out with each press. And while I’ll admit that a little goes a long way with this lubricant, it would have been nice to gain a little more control over the amount of product I was using. The nozzle does turn to lock in place though, so that’s been nice for the nights when I’ve had to travel back and forth between my boyfriend’s house and my own.
- The Texture – I found the smooth, silkiness of this lube quite refreshing, especially since the aroma coming from the bottle was so thick and powerful. I expected it to possess a tackier texture because of the robust flavor profile, but I was wrong about that one too. And when oral Olympics started cumming to an end, my boyfriend and I still had enough slipperiness leftover on our bodies to finish each other like they do on the Discovery Channel (AKA: by having anal sex for at least another 30 minutes before things went completely dry).
- The Taste – The best part was, of course, the delicious taste of this gourmet-flavored lubricant. The stuff they come up with these days, I tell ya what. I did notice a bit of an aftertaste when we were done doing our thing though, but the flavor was so yummy that neither one of us were bothered by it too much. The flavor reminded me of those boutique chocolate-covered pretzels, but my partner said it tasted more like a fancy lava cake or something. We’re still trying to figure it out but we’re still coming back for more, so that tells us the manufacturer has done something right.
The Ups and Downs
I find it impossible to locate anything that’s absolutely perfect. Not even back when products were made exclusively in America using the highest quality materials were things flawless. Move that concept over to the personal pleasure products arena and the chances of perfection get even narrower. At some point, savvy shoppers begin to understand the subtle nuances that distinguish a generally flawed lube with an expectedly imperfect one. In other words, the pros know how to take the good with the bad. As far as the System JO Gelato Salted Caramel lubricant goes, there are a few ups and downs you might want to consider. Here’s what you need to know before spending any money:
- Dense, robust and multi-faceted flavor
- Water-based for improved user-friendliness
- Compatible with all skin types and sex toy materials
- Extra long-lasting formula
- Does not stain fabrics
- Doesn’t get tacky or sticky when it dries
- Contains no sugars or parabens
- Good price-to-quantity ratio
- Pump may be difficult for some people to use
- Formula contains potential allergens
- Intense flavor could leave an aftertaste behind
I hate to say it, but the System JO brand truly knows what it’s doing when it comes to creating flavorful combinations in their personal lube varieties. The Salted Caramel Gelato flavor is to die for, even if you can’t get the taste out of your mouth immediately. And while the bottle’s design and execution could use some work, you’re paying for what’s on the inside anyway. This water-based, paraben and sugar-free lube is rich, luxurious and smooth without becoming tacky when it starts to dry. However, watch out for the potential allergens in the formula and always perform a spot test before you go hog-wild during intercourse, oral stimulation, manual masturbation or sex toy time.