Can you believe that a lot of people don’t even know what an inflatable dildo is? A lot of folks hear the words or look at the device and wonder what makes them so special. Well, I’m here to tell you that the power of a good air-up dong is like nothing else on the sex toy market. The way that the human body responds to these things is unreal, and it ends up producing some of the best orgasms known to mankind if you do it right (and get the right product). Unfortunately, it’s not always easy to find a good one because the market has exploded so much over the last few decades. I short, inflatable dildos are no longer rare but the high-quality ones usually are.
And that leads me to what I’m about to say next: I recently tried a new device on for size and it ended up leaving quite the impression on me and my partner. After a long discussion about our wants and needs, we finally settled on the Cock Locker Inflatable Monster because it came highly rated by customers and it was well within our budget. The night started out nice and slow with candles and music, but that’s not at all the way it ended. So, was the CL monstrosity worth the dough we spent on it or was the impression a not-so-good one after all? Well, let me start by making sure everyone knows exactly what I’m talking about here.
What Is the Cock Locker Inflatable Monster?
The Cock Locker is an inflatable dildo of epic proportions, hence the second part of its name which is “Monster.” Obviously, this thing is definitely not a sex toy for newbies unless those rookies want a taste of the big leagues (no pun intended). It’s designed for both anal and vaginal penetration, offering up some of the most intense sensations in the biz due to its massive dimensions and hyper-realistic penis-like features. And while it’s not the perfect product for everyone, it’s most certainly a contender in the blow-up dong department simply because of its unique design and ergonomic components. Ideal for those who enjoy stretching and experimentation, the Cock Locker Monster is not for the faint of heart in any way, shape or form.
The Main Features
For an inflatable dildo of massive proportions the Cock Locker Inflatable Monster is surprisingly realistic, with fuck-worthy features from base to tip. For starters, it has a very pronounced corona, meaning you really get to feel the toy be inserted into and removed out of your body. It looks super lifelike too, which only adds to the pleasurable sensations you feel when masturbating with it. Further down the realism rabbit hole is the thick urethra and shaft full of interwoven veins that are designed to look and feel just like an actual human penis. Hailed as “More fun than a bouncy castle” by the manufacturer, this huge dong has a resting size of 9 inches in circumference and 10.75 inches in insertable length.
Blown up to full capacity, it offers a formidable 12 inches in circumference and a whopping 11.25 inches in insertable length. Deflate it with the convenient twist valve on the air bladder/palm pump combo fitted onto the bottom of the device (which resembles a pair of smooth, emptied balls in my opinion). This bad boy is also made from skin-safe, latex-free rubber and features no inner core for better flexibility and easier, more comfortable insertion. It’s also 100% waterproof and extra simple to clean because of its non-porous materials and ergonomic design overall.
What Comes in the Box?
You don’t get much in terms of freebies and extras when you purchase the Cock Locker Monster, but that doesn’t mean it’s a low-quality product. In fact, it most likely means that the manufacturer concentrated their funds and efforts on producing an amazing sex toy instead of on producing samples of lube and material cleaning supplies. With that said, you won’t get any items like those in the box with this thing. All you’ll find is the toy itself – the dildo, the handball pumping system, and a set of instruction from the maker. Everything comes preassembled for you already, so you don’t have to worry about any of that. However, you don’t get a storage container of any kind with this toy so make sure you have something to put it in or a place to hide it ahead of time. I’m not even kidding when I say it’s a massive dildo.
The Experience
I’ll admit to having tried hundreds of different dildos in my day – the vibrating kind, the thrusting kind, the regular kind, you name it. My favorites, by far, are the inflatable ones and there are many good reasons for that. Although I’m not taking questions at this time, I will say that not all inflatable dildos are made the same. I may love them, but they don’t all love me. Being a fan doesn’t mean I have an amazing experience with them all the time. Because of that, I’ve learned how to look at each sex toy objectively using the same basic criteria. Here’s what I thought about the Cock Locker Inflatable Monster when held against those standards:
- The Dimensions
I can certainly see how this enormous dildo wouldn’t be appropriate for all users. Noobs beware; the CLM is like the Wu-Tang of sex toys: It ain’t nothin’ to fuck with. Even the starting dimensions are intimidating to someone who isn’t prepared for a good stretching, so I don’t recommend this to anyone who’s unsure how their body will react to internal expansion. However, those who do know how their bodies will react might find the dimensions of this device to be ideal for its intended purposes (because I did).
- The Materials
I always appreciate a sex toy manufacturer that spends the extra few bucks to make their products out of completely skin-safe stuff like silicone. That makes it so much easier for everyone to have a good time – no condoms, no special circumstances, just hardcore sex and/or masturbation for hours (as long as you have a good water-based lube). This dildo is somewhat cold to the touch at first though, but that’s a lot like engaging in gentle temperature play so why not?
- The Sensations
Aside from the initial chill and the somewhat plastic feeling of the materials, the sensations created by this inflatable dildo are insane. The main idea for a blow-up dong is to feel good on the inside, but the manufacturer has found a way to make this toy feel good inside and out. I’m truly a fan because, quite honestly, this was the best part.
- The Functionality
For an inflatable dildo that uses a handball pumping system, this bad boy airs up quickly and doesn’t require a lot of strength to get you there. The quick-release safety nozzle is a nice touch in the overall design as well, having made my newbie of a partner feel a little better about using something like this.
The Ups and Downs
I have yet to call any man-made pleasure product “perfect” and that’s because an item like that doesn’t exist in this world. There’s no such thing as a flawless anything, which is why I do my sex toy shopping a little differently. Obviously, the manufacturers are going to tell you only the good things about their toys. Do you blame them? The only way to truly know the truth about any item is to look at it objectively. Carefully consider the pros and cons and then figure out which of those things you can’t live without (and which ones you can). When it comes to the Cock Locker Inflatable Monster, here are the things I think you should know before spending any money on it:
PROS
- Ergonomic handle and large pump for easier control
- Quick-release valve for enhanced safety and satisfaction
- Adjustable length and girth
- Raised veins and texturing for maximum pleasure
- Fully submersible in water
- Made from realistic materials
CONS
- Contains latex
- Not harness compatible
- May be too big for beginners
The Takeaway
Bigger isn’t always better, but sometimes it is. In the case of the Cock Locker Inflatable Monster, size is definitely a factor that determines the overall quality of the toy. However, the extremely diligent attention to detail on the manufacturer’s behalf is simply impressive. If I ever see a real-life penis with those proportions I might be inclined to marry it. The smooth outer surface and flexible shaft made it easy and comfortable to use, even for a partner who isn’t used to such massive dimensions. With a convenient handball pumping system and all the safety features you’d want in an inflatable dildo, the CLM is most ideal for kinky couples and expert masturbators who knows exactly how to get themselves off using a sex toy. Overall, however, I’d recommend it to anyone looking for an erotic adventure that involves pushing the boundaries a little bit more than usual.
