We can’t all be born with everything we need to have a great sex life. In fact, even the few of us who are born well-equipped still enjoy using a high-quality sex toy from time to time. After all, it enhances the sensations that both people feel without forcing anyone to learn new skills. It establishes a connection between partners, especially ones who live far away from each other. It’s hot. It’s kinky, and it’s safe too. There are really no good reasons why a person living in the modern world shouldn’t use a pleasure product of some kind. For many, a simple strap-on harness is just one of the many favored devices at their disposal. Since the dawn of its existence, these toys have been valued for their ability to create fun where there was none before and I, for one, am extremely grateful for that.
You see, my partner had been nagging at me for several weeks because the dildos we owned were getting nasty and nothing in my stash was big enough to make a lasting impression. I was sort of broke at the time, very much out of the loop on things, and unaware of what was out there. But because I was tired of hearing my lover complain (and sick of watching her fake an orgasm…poorly, I might add), school went in session and research was underway as soon as my next paycheck hit the bank. Eventually, I came across the King Cock Ultra Strap-On Harness and decided to give it a try because it looked comfy and had a dildo already attached. So, was it everything we needed it to be or am I still suffering from formal complaints from the partner department? Well, let’s make sure you know what I’m talking about before I answer that question.
What Is the King Cock Ultra?
The King Cock Ultra is basically just a standard strap-on harness with a compatible penis-shaped dildo attached to it, but a closer inspection will reveal that it’s so much more. Designed for kinky, experimental couples who want to flip the script or make up for missing pieces, this massive bad boy can stretch and satisfy even the pickiest of pussies and asses (at least in my opinion). It’s obviously made for heavy-duty use and is suitable for almost all body types too. I noticed it had a few safety features as well, but that’s pretty much par for the course on well-made harnesses so I had to look more closely at the special features to notice anything that made this toy stand out from the rest.
The Main Features
As mentioned, the KCU strap-on harness is apparently made for first-time users but it helps if they’re someone who enjoy larger-than-average penis sizes. This thing features a ginormous 9-inch dildo with realistic detailing on it like raised veins, a bulbous head, and a slight curve just like a real man. There’s even a small hole on the tip of the circumcised shaft for better visual appeal. That’s just where the fun begins though. The entire shebang dangles off of a pleather harness that has multiple straps for added comfort. The detachable suction cup cock can be swapped out for any harness compatible dong too, meaning the versatility of the product is commiserate with its sophisticated design – guaranteed innovative and definitely enjoyable. There are two sets of O-rings as well, placed ever so carefully on the sides of the harness to make them flush with the wearer’s hips for assisted or controlled thrusting.
The King Cock Ultra Strap-On Harness is ideal for dress sizes 6 through 30, with a fully adjustable strapping system that measures anywhere from 25 inches to 2 inches in total circumference. Furthermore, the O-ring sets offer varying measurements themselves – one is 1.2 inches, another is 1.6 inches and the other is 2 full inches in diameter. Because of the fluid, customizable functionality and the 6.75-inch dildo girth, this skin-safe pleasure product is ideal for people of all experience levels and can be used hands-free for a multi-tasked experience unlike anything you’ve ever felt. I liked the flexibility of the shaft, personally. Then again, the complete package is what made the KCU harness a true winner in my book (although I could have killed for a good set of balls on the end of that dick).
What Comes in the Box?
You don’t get too many things in the box with high-quality products because it seems as though reputable manufacturers choose to include a bunch of extras only when their original product is lacking in some way. In an effort to avoid those things, some brands spend every last penny on the toy itself, leaving consumers to fend for themselves when it comes to buying supplies and accessories. The King Cock Ultra is no exception, with only the device and the compatible harness in the tiny container it comes in. You can’t complain though, even if there’s no a manufacturer’s warranty, because the product is so well made that it doesn’t need anything else for you and/or your partner to get started humping.
TIP: Get your own lubricant, sex toy cleaner and storage containers before buying this thing because you don’t get any of that stuff with your purchase and you’re gonna need it with a dildo this big.
The Experience
When it comes to using a new sex toy, each person’s experience can vary widely. It’s important to consider certain factors before determining whether a device is right for you. That was evidenced in my bedroom with the King Cock Ultra because my partner and I were surprised in more ways than one. This is what I mean by that, based on the basic criteria I use for every unfamiliar product in my stash:
- The Dimensions
The dimensions were just fine for me and my partner because we’re very familiar with assisted sex. However, I don’t think this thing is appropriate for newbies or virgins, people who are afraid of vaginal/anal stretching or individuals with an aversion to the human penis. It’s rather large, very realistic, and exceptionally intimidating to most people. However, the harness is nice and adjustable so at least there’s that.
- The Materials
It’s not the most realistic feeling material in the world but it looks great and it feels amazing with or without lube although I suggest using plenty of the best water-based formula you’ve got. The toy is made from all hypoallergenic PVC too, so neither me nor my partner had any allergic reactions or skin irritations from using it. In other words, I had to explain that nasty rash on my balls another way.
- The Sensations
I was a big fan of the bulbous tip but my partner thought it could have been bigger. The raised veins and slight curve of the shaft felt terrific though and we were both able to get an amazing stroke because the harness fit perfectly thanks to the innovative strapping system and our ability to read directions carefully. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to enjoy the King Cock Ultra, but a degree in aerodynamics wouldn’t hurt.
- The Functionality
Overall, it had the ideal functionality that we were looking for in a strap-on harness. We appreciated the various sized O-rings because it allowed us to attach chains for BDSM games. Plus, the fact that the dong could be swapped out with anything compatible meant we had more options than we initially realized. It was a great experience and we became fans almost immediately.
The Ups and Downs
You should already know that there’s no such thing as a perfect product, especially when we’re talking about a device used for sex. What feels good to one person may feel like torture to another, meaning no single sex toy can provide for the needs of everyone. Eventually, you’re going to run across something that won’t work for you. It’s important to recognize those times and avoid falling for the trappings of clever advertising. The best way to do that is to carefully consider the pros and cons of each device you’re considering. As for the King Cock Ultra Strap-On Harness, these are the things I think you should know before spending any money on it:
PROS
- Buckle strapping system for improved security
- Flared based on dildo for easier insertion and control
- Hyper-realistic detailing throughout
- Fully submersible in water
- Made from skin-safe materials
CONS
- Included dildo may be too large for beginners
The Takeaway
One of my biggest regrets in life is using handheld dongs and vibrators for far too long without giving a good strap-on harness a fair shot. The King Cock Ultra didn’t change that or anything, but at least it revived my faith in humanity and reminded me why I love this type of shit in the first place. It may be somewhat massive, look like a real dick, and require plenty of lube to enjoy it, but at least it has user-friendly features and makes for an amazing surprise for your lover. Overall, I’d say it’s perfect for a person (or persons) who love big dicks and hands-free vaginal or anal stimulation.
