That Toy May Be Garbage, But Your Sex Life Doesn’t Have to Be.
Modern society tells us that single-use products are the epitome of convenience and cleanliness, with some of the best-selling items on the market available only in disposable form. From throw-away cameras to travel-size toothbrushes, everything can be tossed in the trash and then quickly replaced. Today’s sex toy industry churns out quality products like the Amish churn butter. Less quaint and far more sexually deviant, contemporary self-pleasure devices tiptoe on the line between normal, healthy sexuality and demented perversion. In other words, there’s something out here for just about everybody.
Sex toys started becoming popular in the mid-1980’s when the latter part of the sexual revolution was in full swing and people no longer has to get their dildos and vibrators from the family doctor. By the early 90’s, so-called “marital aids” had flooded a once bone-dry market and soccer moms everywhere were flicking the bean with a new kind of tenacity. Fast-forward a few decades and the average user is now forced to pick between such a wide variety of options that it’s virtually impossible to choose. And it’s not like there are a bunch of classes on this topic to help shoppers out. The industry leaves it to people like me to educate folks like you. I sure hope I do a good job.
Many of today’s best sex toys are unfamiliar to the untrained eye and intimidating at first glance. Even certain disposable models can seem alien to a person who’s new to te sex toy world. Inspired by desperation and in search of a more convenient, user-friendly sex toy, people began enjoying disposable sex toys (at about the same time that ecologists announced predictions about global warming). In response, and somehow keeping up with the demand, modern-day sex toy manufacturers started developing eco-friendly disposable products that perform like long-lasting toys but shrink away in the compost heap like a flimsy banana peel. As a result, everybody is happy and Mother Nature is none the wiser.
Fortunately, disposable sex toys aren’t expensive, so they don’t usually cause alarm when they break or fail to work as intended. However, I think we can all agree that it’s never fun to waste money and it’s pointless to do so if you don’t have to. The market may be flooded with disposable sex toys at this point, but that doesn’t mean you have to fork over all your cash to find the right one. It also doesn’t mean you’ll never find what you’re looking for. As someone who’s been using disposable sex toys for several years now, I can say with confidence that some of the disposable toys are better than their full-size, fully operational counterparts. I know; I was surprised by that too.
What Is a Disposable Sex Toy?
Not only is it almost impossible to find a good disposable sex toy without understanding what you’re up against, it’s also virtually impossible to pick out the right one if you don’t know what we’re talking about. Granted, any sex toy can be thrown in the trash when you’re done with it. But disposable sex toys are inherently designed to break down after one or two uses – a characteristic that actually has more benefits that drawbacks. To get what I’m saying, let me define what a disposable sex toy is (and isn’t) real quick.
Put simply, a disposable sex toy is just a handheld self-pleasure device that’s made to be thrown away when you’re done ejaculating with or into it a time or two. Contrary to popular belief, the fact that disposable sex toys can be trashed is not always an indication that they lack quality. If the product is a good one, you might get several uses out of it before you have to toss it in the trash. In fact, some of today’s best manufacturers offer throw-away devices for customer convenience, sexual cleanliness, easy travel and inexpensive experimentation. Disposable toys, albeit flimsy and biodegradable, are still (usually) made out of materials that don’t cause harm to the skin and can produce an amazing orgasm if you use them right.
Why a Disposable Sex Toy Though?
Some people wonder why anyone would pay any amount of money for a sex toy that just ends up in the garbage can. I can definitely understand how that could be confusing, especially in lieu of all the high-end, durable products available these days. Just hear me out: You don’t have to make it rain to find a decent disposable sex toy. These things, no matter their form or function, are made to revolutionize your love life by providing the following 5 advantages:
- Masturbatory Convenience
It’s one thing to enthusiastically masturbate using the calloused palm of your hand; it’s another to use a disposable sex toy for its one-of-a-kind texture. Not only are the sensations typically better than standard sex or masturbation, but the ability to enjoy those enhanced sensations is improved tremendously by the inherent design of a disposable toy. Clandestinely convenient, throw-away/single-use sex toys have done an amazing job of making on-the-go orgasms more mainstream. For the average user, that convenience can be manifested in a wide variety of ways.
- Sexual Cleanliness
Disposable sex toys offer an advantage that conventional toys never will. For one, there is absolutely no clean-up required when you use a single-use sex toy. For two, even clean-up for the more durable models is simple and easy. For three, disposable sex toys are often designed to catch your cum before it hits the ground. Finally, throw-away devices typically cost less than the price of a bottle of toy cleaner or lubricant, meaning your bank account stays clean too. Now that’s some sexy shit.
- Performance Enhancement
Convenient sex toys like these have the power to improve your game and elevate you into the pervert pros. How, you ask? Because they allow you and/or your partner to do one (or more) of the following 4 things:
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- Pre-game before you have sex to ensure you don’t blow your load too quickly.
- Increase pleasure during foreplay.
- Help yourself or your partner achieve a satisfying orgasm.
- Find the perfect stroke, speed or texture for a more robust and expensive sex toy in the future.
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Who would have guessed that enhancing your sexual performance would involve something so easily obtainable? The modern world is a wonderful place to live, but before spending hundreds on a penis enhancement device, try a disposable sex toy on for size and make sure the problem isn’t just a simple case of bedroom boredom.
- Fetish Experimentation
Not everyone is familiar enough with themselves or their partner to know what feels good and what doesn’t. Manufacturers and marketers can try all they want; if a consumer doesn’t know what they’re getting in a product, they’ll never buy it. High-end sex toys may boast of ton of amazing features, but a lot people won’t enjoy them because those features exist on an expensive toy that requires a big financial commitment. The good thing with disposable sex toys is that you can keep your commitment issues intact while still getting a good orgasm. It’s like having a handheld hooker at your beckoned call, ready and willing to show you the ropes at your own speed.
- Travel-Friendly Kink
With disposable sex toys, you’re going places. No seriously, throw-away marital aids help you travel the world without having to sacrifice your love life in the process. They’re good for long-distance relationships too, currently aiding in millions of manual masturbation sessions the world over by offering a truly satisfying experience through the use of varied textures and practical functionality. Whether exploring the planet or sending a kinky gift to a loved one far away, single-use sex toys are like the new flowers. Send them to your lover for a romantic gesture, send them to yourself to make your ex jealous. Oh wait, that’s just what I do. Never mind.
No matter how you look at it, disposable sex toys have been made to bridge the important and oft ignored gap between at-home masturbation and on-demand orgasms. And whether you like it not, these things aren’t going anywhere soon. In fact, the sex toy industry just keeps making more of them. I guess it’s time you started keeping up with the Joneses. Step 1: Figure out the following things about yourself and/or your partner(s) before even considering a disposable sex toy:
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- Your Skin Type
Know about the skin you’re in. Simply stated, be aware of any material and/or substance sensitivities or allergies you may have. Remember that not all disposable sex toys are made the same, nor are they all made from skin-safe or hypoallergenic materials like silicone, TPE, PVC or elastomer. Find one that’s compatible with both your skin type and with the kind of lube you’ve decided to use with your sex toys to avoid a kink-tastrophe.
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- Your Intentions
Know about your plans with this toy in your hand. Using the wrong device in the wrong moment can give you and/or your partner the wrong idea about disposable sex toys in general. Will you be traveling with your new device? Is it being used on you, your partner or both? How often do you think you’ll use it? Is this toy something you’ll likely buy several times? Do you have the money to sustain your thirst or is there a less expensive alternative? *Generally, disposable sex toys are as low as you can go in terms of price.
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- Your Love Life
Know about the realities of your sexual situation. If you’re not the kind of person who uses sex toys a lot, disposable devices are the perfect option for you. On the other hand, if you’re someone who enjoys sex toys frequently, disposable sex toys are the perfect option for you too. Depending on the conditions and limitations of your love life, the right disposable sex toy will vary. Try to find one that works in seamlessly with your existing bedroom routine by only enhancing the sensations already produced, never replacing them.
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- Your Budget
Know about your finances ahead of time. Don’t go into this ignorantly and get hit with an unpleasant surprising later on. Budget carefully for the price of the device itself but don’t forget about lube and storage. And just because you’re dealing with disposable stuff doesn’t mean the cost won’t add up quickly. You may be tempted to go for the cheapest model automatically but remember: You get what you pay for, even when it’s a sex toy designed specifically to be thrown away after one use.
And that’s not the only thing that’s often perceived as worthless. This education you’re getting on disposable sex toys is priceless. There are no after-school programs, no night school classes and damn sure no conversations about this at the PTA. Despite the purposeful hush, single-use sex toys are still a hot seller and there are countless reasons why. However, you’ll never know that because you ignored the next section in this buyer’s guide. You aught to be ashamed of yourself.
The Top 5 Ways to Tell If That Disposable Sex Toy Is Worth It or Not
It’s not always easy picking out something new, especially when that “something new” comes in about a million different varieties, costs a little more than you’re used to paying for trash, and doesn’t guarantee results like a good ole traditional sex toy would. That warm and fuzzy feeling isn’t a complete crock. The only way you’re making it out of this alive is by admitting how little you know about disposable sex toys. And since you’re so far behind the times (totally kidding), I’ve decided to play catch up with you like we’re a pair of funk-nasty tomatoes. You can spank me, I mean “thank me,” later.
My eyes are up here, folks; try to pay attention. As promised, here are the top 5 things you need to look at and/or consider when shopping for your first (or next) disposable sex toy:
- The Size
Disposable sex toys are known for being an extremely versatile alternative to traditional toys. Because of that, manufacturers have always offered a wide variety of sizes to accommodate all sorts of users and uses. However, these toys are not a one-size-fits-all option by any stretch of the imagination. Even the ones that are advertised as such often leave much to be desired. Be very careful about the dimensions and always check the label for more information before you spend any money. Remember: the ideal disposable sex toy will feature measurements that are tailored to you and/or your partner’s specific body type.
- The Materials
After considering the skin types involved, compare what you know to the materials listed on the product’s container or website. Most of the time, manufacturers take special precautions to ensure their products are skin-safe and lube-friendly. However, the disposable nature and general pliability of these toys often inspires manufacturers to cut corners. Today’s sex toy industry is full of choices, but they’re not all good for your body. Stay away from anything that contains parabens or phthalates, and steer clear of latex-based disposable toys if you or your partner are allergic.
- The Manufacturer
Although brand affiliation is no reason to accept or reject a disposable sex toy as legit, there’s a lot to be said about a manufacturer that cares. Usually, those guys end up being the top dogs in their industry. The sex toy market is no exception. Pay close attention to the people who make the toys you like. Do they have a good reputation? Are there manufacturing standards up to par with industry standards? How is there customer service if you have a problem? Disposable sex toys may not be the most expensive option out there, but that doesn’t mean you want to get ripped off of injured because of bad business practices. As a general rule, only buy your toys from a company that’s well-respected and/or well-known.
- The Texture
Every disposable sex toy on the modern market is formed differently, even the ones that are part of a brand’s unique collection. When it comes to pleasure devices, texture is everything. After all, even a shitty product can feel good if it has the right bumps and ridges, amirite? The tricky part is realizing that texturization is a subjective preference. In other words, what works for one person may not work for another. The good thing about disposable sex toys is that they’re generally inexpensive, so you can play around until you find something you like without breaking the bank.
- The Durability
It may be difficult to determine the durability of a disposable sex toy before you use it, but it’s still an important consideration to be made. Cheap or not, getting more than one use out of your single-use product is like celebrating a small victory. Durable options are obviously the best, so stick with the stuff made from high-grade materials such as silicone, Thermoplastic Elastomer (TPE), PVC, or jelly for best results. Also, don’t be afraid to use plenty of personal lubricant to keep friction at bay and to prolong the life of that throw-away sex toy you just bought.
The Three Kings: My Favorite Disposable Sex Toys
Fortunately for today’s shopper, the disposable sex toy market is one of the smallest in the industry, with only a few hundred options to choose from instead of millions. The market continues to grow, though, expanding at an alarming rate that makes this hunt harder than ever and increasingly more difficult. To satisfy the increased demand, some brands have now started specializing in luxury-grade disposable toys. It doesn’t look like things are getting easier any time soon. In the meantime, start your journey by checking out these three options which, in my humble opinion, represent everything a disposable sex toy should be:
BEST OVERALL: The Screaming O Vibro Man Starter Kit
Perfect for kinky couples on the go or people who enjoy a good pump and dump whenever the mood strikes, the Screaming O Vibro Man is surprisingly well-made and subsequently durable for a disposable cock ring. In fact, this product actually comes with three different rings to get you started, thereby giving you and your lover triple the options and quadruple the fun. Each ring features a sexy vibration function and the rings are all dressed to impress with a silky-soft texture that tantalizes the clit and/or perineum depending on how you wear it. Robust enough to be used more than once, this well-rounded option is waterproof, phthalate free and pleasing to your pockets (in more ways than one).
Pro: This product provides pleasure for both partners regardless of the type of sex being had or position you’re in. It’s also a good add-on for masturbation, even with other toys.
Con: Although surprisingly stretchy, this product isn’t ideal for men with extra-large or extra-small penises.
BEST FOR HIM: The TENGA Egg
Hailed as the world’s best disposable sex toy for men, this handheld male masturbator sets the bar extremely high and we couldn’t be more thankful. Made from latex and phthalate-free thermoplastic elastomer (TPE), the famous TENGA Egg has sold millions worldwide because of its soft internal sleeve texture featuring embossed bumps and ridges that are specifically designed to stimulate the shaft and head of the penis. Packed inside a petite, travel-friendly egg, this single-use masturbation sleeve stretches up to 12 inches in total length as you run it up and down your main vein using the included packet of personal lube. As an all-inclusive option, this deliciously discreet bad boy makes the perfect gift or the ideal accessory for a naughty weekend away.
Pro: The closed, egg-like design helps the user quickly clean up after a heavy ejaculation.
Con: With too much fervent masturbation or not enough lube, this product tends to break and fold in on itself.
BEST FOR HER: The Disposable Finger Vibrator
What lady doesn’t like a good fingering? How about a fingering with a disposable finger vibrator that has a 40-minute run time? Made from a latex and phthalate-free jelly and featuring three powerful battery cells already installed, this single speed sex toy is curved to caress the clitoris while being ergonomically shaped to pinpoint the g-spot with a sniper’s accuracy. It also features a bunch of raised bumps along the insertable channel for increased stimulation, plus the whole thing slides over your/your partner’s finger for convenience. Cute and compact, this tiny titan fits snugly inside almost any bag or loose-fitted pocket – a traveling pervert’s delight.
Pro: Even after the battery dies, the Disposable Finger Vibrator can still be used to enhance manual stimulation.
Con: It’s not waterproof and the finger hole isn’t deep enough for some people.
The End Game
Picking out a sex toy that you plan to throw away after one or two uses is a tough gig. You want to choose something amazing but you don’t want to spend an arm and a leg on a sexual piece of trash. The struggle is real, and I think we can all agree on that. Disposable sex toys, despite their many inherent flaws, are some of the cleanest, most user-friendly and versatile products on the market. Even someone who isn’t necessarily a sex toy fan can get great pleasure from one of these things – the gateway drug of the sex toy industry. Falling in love is the easy part, and just like a real relationship, the only thing that matters is that your betrothed provides you with a safe and satisfying sexual experience (hopefully more than once). If that takes a disposable egg-like masturbation sleeve with patented texturing and a free sample of lube, then so be it. That toy may be garbage but you sex life doesn’t have to be.
