Pure Intimacy: God's Design for Sex


Encouragement for Parents

You are in a unique position as someone’s parent to teach the wonder, joy, and beauty of God’s creation.

by Daniel L. Weiss

There are few responsibilities in life so demanding, and yet so important, as those associated with raising children. The task of a parent is fraught with struggles and strife, often with little gratitude in return. Thankfully, parenting is not all negatives. Children can be a source of limitless joy, remarkable smiles, and laughter more precious than jewels.

The funny thing about parenting is that most people find themselves thrust into it with little or no preparation. Looking back to their own upbringing, some parents are certain the training manual was already missing a few pages when their own parents first had kids. And, after a few years of raising their first-born, some parents are ready to write him off and try again.

While parenting jokes come naturally to us (because they are so often true), many parents find themselves in a real struggle to juggle the demands of holding down a job (or two or three!), paying the bills, cooking, cleaning, and feeding, bathing, and educating their children. And to find time to do the really important things, like playing or reading to kids or just doing something silly with them…?

Despite parents’ best efforts, some of the most crucial elements of child-raising are being neglected today. Families, if not fractured through separation or divorce, are often operating as autonomous units that occasionally meet in line for the bathroom. Extra-curricular activities, sports, and even church programs often replace what families used to have in abundance: quality time together. This disjointedness facilitates a home environment resistant to the imparting of spiritual wisdom, proper adult role-modeling, and a healthy and godly understanding of sexuality.

While Pure Intimacy is interested in equipping parents to excel in all aspects of raising their children, its primary service to parents is helping them transmit a Christian understanding of sexuality to their kids and how to recover it if their children have been harmed by sexual abuse, pornography, or early sexual activity.

While this site is clear in its charge to parents to take up their responsibility to invest themselves deeply in their children, it does not offer judgment or condemnation where parents may have failed. Our goal is simply to provide a few of those missing pages in the sexuality chapter of your parenting manual.

The task of parenting is daunting for most people. In fact, without a healthy measure of fear, it is likely a person doesn’t take parenting seriously enough. Despite challenges that are real and intimidating, the alternative to you orienting your life around the upbringing of your children is that the culture will raise them for you. If nature abhors a vacuum, the collective menace of secular culture (the old sex, drugs, and rock n’ roll comes to mind) is salivating at the thought of your disengagement with your kids.

But, be not motivated by fear.

You are in a unique position as someone’s parent to teach the wonder, joy, and beauty of God’s creation. You have the best job in the world. When struggles beset you from all sides, remember that you are building an eternal inheritance for your children and raising them to be not only functioning adults, but, more importantly, God’s adopted children to live with Him—and you—in this world and the next.

Copyright © 2004 Focus on the Family. All rights reserved. International copyright secured.

About the author

Daniel L. Weiss is the Media and Sexuality Analyst for Focus on the Family. He also serves as project manager for Pure Intimacy.