Pure Intimacy: God's Design for Sex

Right Now: Teens and Instant Messenger

Like cell phone text messaging, instant messaging is now a favored way to communicate among teens.

by Lindy Keffer

It's something you probably imagined as a kid. You send a written message out into the universe and immediately your friend who lives across town — or across the country — replies. Just two decades ago, the technology was still the stuff of dreams for most folks. Now it's real and almost universally available. So it's not hard to understand the appeal of instant messaging to teenagers. Uninitiated adults can read on to find out just what instant messaging is and how teenagers use it.

Instant messaging (IMing, for short) uses free software to allow two Internet users to exchange typed messages in real time. Contact lists or "buddy lists" allow users to see which of their friends or acquaintances is online and send chat requests to each other.1 Once a communication window is opened, one user types his or her comments and immediately upon hitting "enter," the words appear on the other person's screen. Because of the quick delivery, IMing can be much more like a conversation than say, e-mail.

IM doesn't cost anything beyond the price of an Internet connection, so it becomes an alternative to paying long distance phone bills. In addition, a user can have multiple IM windows open at the same time — effectively allowing two, five or ten private conversations to occur simultaneously. And now, mobile technology allows instant messaging from cell phones, so it's possible to IM nearly anytime and anywhere. Windows, AOL, Yahoo! and Google all distribute instant messaging software, and technology solutions are becoming increasingly available that allow users of different IM providers to communicate with each other.2

A November 2007 poll performed by the Associated Press and AOL reveals some telling facts about young people and IM use:3

  • Teens beat adults hands-down for IM usage, with nearly half saying they use the technology, as opposed to about 20 percent of adults.4
  • Seventy percent of IM users age 13 to 18 send more instant messages than e-mails.5
  • Results of a similar poll released in December 2006 revealed that 30 percent of teens who use instant messaging — compared with 17 percent of adults who do — say they can't imagine life without IM.6

In many ways, these figures are just a snapshot of a new technology being embraced by a new generation. But in a few cases, teen IM habits indicate a need for parents to talk with their kids about wisdom and good choices. For example, 43 percent of teen IMers say they use it for discussions they prefer not to have in person — including potentially awkward or embarrassing ones about asking for a date or ending a relationship.7 And 57 percent of young people who use IM say that, after IMing while checking e-mail, their favorite multi-tasking combo is IMing while doing online research for homework assignments.8 In most cases, these aren't reasons to forbid teens to use IM — just opportunities for teachable moments about responsibility, healthy risk-taking in relationships, and the cultivation of good study habits.


About the author

Lindy Keffer has written for a variety of organizations, including Cook Communications Ministries, Acquire the Fire, and Focus on the Family. Lindy earned a Bachelor of Arts degree in English Education from Taylor University, and she currently works with college students at the Focus on the Family Institute.