When it comes to being a woman, there are three things I love more than anything in the world: 1) being able to exit a sinking ship before the men, 2) getting special rates on car insurance, and 3) achieving orgasm without ever being penetrated. Clitoral climaxes are some of the best things in the world, although most of my sexual partners haven’t had a clue how to give me one. At some point between the age of 18 and 25, I started turning towards marital aids in exchange for live human lovers who left me yearning for more.
In the course of my self-directed clitoral conquest, I’ve had the privilege (and the curse) of trying almost everything the market has to offer.
I’m no longer surprised by the look, feel or functionality of most pleasure products. It seems like everything is just about the same, with only a few minor differences that are only noticed when things go wrong. That’s why I wasn’t particularly excited when I heard about the new Womanizer Premium.
Yes, I enjoy clit workouts. But, there’s always something wrong with the devices I purchase and, quite frankly, I was getting a little bit sick of the hype. So, how was my experience with the WP? Am I little more bitter today or have some of my stressors been alleviated by a satisfying orgasm?
Well, let’s make sure we’re all on the same page about the product in question first.
What is the Womanizer Premium?
Table of Contents
The Womanizer Premium is one of many clitoral suction devices from this increasingly popular sex toy brand. It’s designed to offer maximum stimulation without requiring penetration – an excellent option for women who enjoy achieving orgasm but prefer not to insert objects into their vagina.
On the other hand, the WP is ideal for dual stimulation as well, meaning it can be used alongside a dildo or an anal pleasure device without compromising the overall functionality, effectiveness or integrity.
And because it’s made from skin-safe materials and encompasses the industry’s best user-friendly features, this powerful clit sucker has become a top seller amongst much more sophisticated models.
Womanizer Premium Review: The Main Features
Today’s sex toys are a lot more intuitive than they were back in the day, and the Womanizer Premium is a prime example of that.
It draws a serious squirt from the clitoris by utilizing pulse-pounding, patented Pleasure Air Technology instead of traditional suction, plus it features a specialized battery-saving function which involves a sensor that knows when to turn the device on and off based on its proximity to your body.
It also has an autopilot mode that lets you lay back and relax and the machine does all the manual labor (you just have to hold it in place). On top of all that, this powerful pussy pleaser offers a dozen different stimulation intensity levels and is contained within a sleek, sexy and ergonomic casing.
The WP is a completely reimagined version of its predecessor, the insanely popular Womanizer 5000, with updated premium features that work together seamlessly and quietly to deliver mind-blowing orgasms in a seductively secret manner. This highly desirable sex toy for women can even be taken into the bath tub or shower, and it comes with its own swanky, silken storage bag for easy maintenance too.
Best of all, it doesn’t require any special equipment to use and it can be quickly recharged using a standard USB cable (included). Also included are two distinct stimulation heads so you can further customize the experience to your unique specifications.
What Comes in the Box
Spending any amount of money on a self-pleasure tool can be risky and stressful, especially when you don’t know what comes in the box you’re buying. Many modern-day sex toys require additional supplies and equipment just to use them as intended, so it’s important to know the facts about the products you purchase to avoid being ripped off, disappointed, or unprepared. Here’s what you get for the money when you spend it on the Womanizer Premium:
- The toy itself
- A USB charging cable
- A set of instructions
- Two interchangeable stimulation heads
- A silky drawstring storage bag
You’ll notice that this device does not come with any water-based lubricant nor does the box contain even the first little sample of sex toy cleaner. You’re on your own when it comes to those things.
You do get a storage pouch but it’s not big enough to fit your device and both of the stimulation heads, so you’ll be forced to find a spot for the machine’s accessories unless you don’t mind losing all the tiny parts.
An equally perverted friend of mine recommended the Womanizer Premium so I was automatically intrigued by its features. It’s always been a little difficult for me to reach orgasm from internal stimulation, so external pleasure devices work best for my body type.
I also take a couple medications that reduce the quality of my sex life, so I obviously needed something that was powerful enough to fight through the involuntary numbness. Not thinking it was possible, I decided to try the WP as part of a dare between myself and my friend. Let’s just say I now owe her fifty bucks.
She warned me that this toy would make any woman squirt across the room almost instantly, but I honestly didn’t believe her. I feel like those kinds of things are so subjective that it can’t be true for everyone.
Still, the air currents that came out of the top of this machine were so strong and concentrated that I could pinpoint the exact sweet spot on my clit and then keep it there until my eyes rolled back in my head. I started out on the lowest setting just to try to slow things down, but that seriously didn’t help one bit. The only way to pace yourself with this thing is to switch back and forth between constant contact and intermittent stimulation.
After the first orgasm (which happened within about three minutes of beginning), I took a short cigarette break and went back for more. Having been properly primed, I lasted a bit longer the second time around but my stamina wasn’t anything to write home about.
Three climaxes in and I was laying face-down in a pool of my own body juices, gritting my teeth like a pissed off prisoner held captive by my own foul play. I’m pretty sure I had an out of body experience at one point, or at least I started shouting dirty orders at a person who wasn’t even there.
You think your medications have side effects until you subject your pussy to something like this.
Overall, I had one hell of a night with the Premium Womanizer and I don’t regret buying it one bit. There were only a few minor flaws, and those could be handled with proper preparation. For example, the handle get slippery after a while but that’s easily fixed with either a couple of hand towels or a little less lube. Either way, I’ve stashed this device into my bedside table for sooner rather than later.
The Ups and Downs
I’m well aware of the fact that there’s no such thing as a perfect pleasure product. The human body is simply too complex, and the sex toy industry just can’t keep up with the demands of every Tom, Dick and Harry.
At a certain point, consumers are forced to grow up and realize that they have to take the bad with the good. When it comes to the Womanizer Premium, there are the things I think you need to know before spending any money on it:
- Built-in push-button interface for optimized control
- Patented Pleasure Air Technology instead of suction
- Ergonomic design for improved handling
- 12 different intensity settings to explore
- Does not require lubrication for maximum pleasure
- USB rechargeable battery
- Made from skin-safe materials
- Becomes slippery when wet
- Not ideal for vagina penetration and/or clitoral suction lovers
- May cause clitoral desensitization if used too often
Many times, I’ll stumble across a so-called “new and improved” model of something and feel like I was somehow ripped off. Even some of today’s best devices have a few flaws, but some of them leave a whole lot to be desired.
I won’t lie; I was weary about this new-fangled air technology used on the Womanizer Premium, but it delivers such a powerful and concentrated current that it actually felt ten times better than traditional suction. The shape, size and weight of the toy itself was obviously designed for female users, but things started slipping out of place once my hands got sweaty and my knees were weak.
If only it were compatible with a harness or something, I’d be one very happy camper. I do suggest laying down a tarp or towel, however, because the WP will definitely make you squirt if you hold it in the right spot for long enough. Overall, I’d say this device is ideal for any woman who enjoys clitoral orgasms, whether simultaneously with penetration or not.